I got an email that nearly broke my heart just a little bit. I feel so badly for the sender because not the content but the fact the intention was so dear to me. I have so many things in my life to be grateful for let me make that completely known. I am sitting here on my couch and I recognize that I have everything I ever actually wished for. I held on and when I was laying in bed this morning I found joy in where I am.

It is so scarey. Truth. Scarey. But amazing. And I am so very lucky.

When reaching out to my Oprah in the last couple of days we have re-bonded and I am so glad. Sometimes a break from family and friends is warranted to be able to maintain the relationships.

Monday night... Larimer Lounge... New Music Mondays with Heather Browne and Meese this week! I have had so much fun the last couple of weeks and honestly Fecher keeps bringing in great guest DJs it makes it really hard to not go, even though its a school night. I have relegated myself this week to the misery of lack of sleep because of all the coolness going on here in this town.

And fantastic looks like Polaroid might just be saved.......eventually.

Here is this week's list of my weekend MovieRama!

Friends with Money
Syriana
Babel
Capote
Charlies Angels
Fierce People
Girl Interrupted
The Fountain
Talk to Me
Timecode


and say goodbye to jpgmag.com. (the link may or may not work past Jan 5, hard to tell since there are some savethejpgmag sites out there, unlikely though). I actually used to submit to the site before I found my footing on flickr.  Once things changed with the "management" and founders I let my subscription that Valentine bought for me expire and stopped regularly visiting.  I will say that I am sorry it couldn't survive in print format and online (think about how expensive it really must be to host all those photos for free and publish... wowza!) because it really was a great concept, perhaps they should have stayed quarterly, self published and not gone "national" but big dreams sometimes don't always work out.  And it is a shame.  Sure there is speculation on the horizon it might not shutter but it still is a statement on the publishing industry as a whole for sure.  I just hope for personal reasons of course that the local free paper stays around and keeps F employed.

F and I went to some friends for dinner last night and I have been obsessing about the cheese straws ever since I let the first buttery sharp cheddary spicy bite hit my tongue.  I have found a couple of recipes and being that F and I probably aren't doing anything tonite outside... I probably will run to the market in a little bit and buy the fixings and give it a shot.  All the recipes that I have found are mostly the same basic recipe so I am super excited. I only hope I can duplicate the deliciousness that I had last night.  It was amazing to go and have dinner and be a couple.  Nuts that I say it but it was really nice.
~~~
Just finished baking.  They turned out pretty damn good if I must say so myself.  Not as spicy as last night but that is fixable in the next batch.  For sure.  Next batch I will bump up the spice.  But honestly what was the most amazing part of the whole thing was using my Grandma Dorothy's cookie press.  I didn't ever think that I would use it and packed it away but tonite when I pulled it out (because amazingly enough I knew just where I packed it away) and made my recipe I have to say I got a little twinge, a twinge of sad that I couldn't call her and thank her for giving it to me because it was PERFECT  and a twinge of pride that I will use it often now that I have something great to use it for.  Melancholy joy for sure. 

I am totally obsessing about shoes too.  Next week I might have to pull the trigger on these.

Its about being bahumbugtastic.... move along already...

I wrapped presents tonite and forced myself to get into the spirit of the holidays a little bit. Soooo not feeling it this year. Sorry about that for those who I am giving gifts to, but one, they probably will be considered semi-craptastic and two, you will be lucky if I put them in some sort of decorative container. Seriously. Last year I got all Martha Stewart on everyone's asses, handmade bows, fancy expensive imported ribbon from England, paper individually picked for the likes and dislikes of the giftee. This year? Not so much if at all.There was one year when I made fudge for every single person on my livejournal friends list, made a personalized card and packaged nicely and everything. Not this year.  I made fudge but only three batches (I have the fixin's for a fourth but it probably ain't happening) and will give some to the neighbors, some people at work, maybe F and his colleges and that will take care of it. 

I haven't even sent out holiday cards. I bought them a month ago when I was feeling it, but guh... it has been torture to even consider.

Maybe it is the shitty economy news that barrages us at every turn.

Perhaps it is getting a notice from my credit card company that just got a 400 million dollar bail out, oh sorry let me correct myself... $306 million, that in order to become solvent they have to raise the interest rate to nearly 30% a month (seriously suck it Citibank... that is why I will NEVER carry a balance with you - or any credit card company actually for that matter, 30%? That is gross).

Perhaps its just I feel like the pressure to produce is too much.

Shit I dunno. All I know... I am just looking forward to a couple of days off from work in the next couple of weeks.

I did make a couple of really good financial decisions today.  Nothing that will drastically change anything outside of where I save my money too, but certainly I am not contributing to a loss leader mutual fund for my IRA anymore. When you only make less than 600 bucks for a full year, those returns are shitty and time to make a little changeroonie.  I can certainly feel good that I made at least one good decision today. And yes I know that plenty of people lost big money but still, I have to only be concerned right now with me and my financial future and what is best for Little Miss Zoeshine ok. 

Marinated in some mishegas until S pulled me out and gave me the better of the kool-aids to drink.  I am not 100% but certainly I am far less pissie than I was at say 11 this morning when I had to force myself to smile and be jovial through a really nice office lunch.  My office girls really are the best.  I loves me my j.o.b. and my j.o.b. peeps. 

Came home, got a call from MS who also gave me some sage ass wisdom (as he always does).  And what was really the craziest of things... last night I was laying in bed, thinking about him, his hot sister (that is not a joke but totally an inside joke) and almost called him.  But he called me today. So nice to have him in my ear after all this time, its been a month or two I think?  Whatevs, nice to talk with him.  Nice to know he knows just the right times to call me and reach out to me and talk me off ledges of marination.

I haven't taken a single picture in a week.  Not a one.  This might be part of the problem too, I haven't been creative for even an instant all week.  Can't even force myself to do that either.  Largely uninspired by being forced inside because of the cold and dark, which I also do not enjoy all that much.  Its just miserable on my constitution apparently.  Makes me crabby or something.  That is a joke because by January I am usually so full of the suck due to seasonal affective disorder I am literally coming home from work and crawling straight into bed.  I have hidden it from the outside world pretty well for years but not doing such a good job this year, or the last week actually.  I am going to blame this all on the weather.  Time to break out the happy pills.  I have them, I should use them, diligently baby.  At least to get me through the next two months, when they make me numb and I can get off them.

I don't want to be "one of those" prescription babies, but this is kicking my ass.  Time to get aboard the seratonin train baby.  So I am totally manic for a week or so at least it will be during the holidays so I will be big fun.  Which is totally better than I am RIGHT F'N now let me tell ya.

Time to finish office present wrapping.  wee.

So this time of year so many media outlets blast their readers with end of year lists, I read them with great interest to see if they match my tastes.  Its amazing to see people wrap up a year in 10 or less lines or blurbs.  Is that not the most interesting thing? To wrap up a full year in 10 items or less?  Its like the express lane of events and I don't know seriously if I can wrap one year up in 10 lines or less.  So much has happened, I have seen and experienced so much its hard to imagine putting it down all compressed like others seem to find so easily to do.

But... because I am not one to ever miss any opportunities to try something new here goes and in NO specific order.  I am limiting myself to 12 items one for each month, the highlights and maybe lowlights!

January 2008: my favorite post of the month, the WGA was striking and tv sucked so I watched alot of movies. I enjoyed the concept of finding old friends on MySpace (not really).  I also got poked.

February 2008: I paid off my car, and my favorite post of the month, Valentine made me laugh about potatoes. I found an episode of The Simpsons which was great. and it snowed.

March 2008: My favorite post of the month (the video edition!). I got to meet (sorta) Mick Jones (at least get my picture taken with him).  Toured some hotels.

April  2008: My favorite post of the month. Went manual. Bought a good camera.  Caught up with old friends.  Got over my "car thing".  Went to Loveland.

May 2008: My favorite post of the month. Made inappropriate comments about Elliot Spitzer and Levitra with my Dad.  Obcessed about Tom Waits tickets. I baked pecan pies.

June 2008:  My favorite post of the month. The Fluid reunited.  Started to edit video again. Traveled for pleasure and it was.  Had a great lunch with my bro at Il Postino.  Saw Tom Waits and loved every minute.

July 2008: My favorite post of the month. Bonus Video. Had a birthday.  Almost fainted. Traveled for pleasure and work.  Had mind erasers the "zoe way". Found graffiti nice.

August 2008: My favorite post of the month. Remembered how much Roscos rules.  Had a great time at shows. Got to go to some cool Democratic National Convention events. Found the Diane Arbus' at our DAM.

September 2008: My favorite post of the month. Hiked Red Rocks.  Ate at Frasca. Enjoyed shopping.  Loved Nick Cave.

October 2008: My favorite post of the month.  Had some fun at shows.  Got a really bad cold.  Enjoyed mirrors.

November 2008: My favorite post of the month. Made it past the day.  Voted. Didn't enjoy the  DIFF as much this year. Watched Democracy in action.

December 2008: My favorite post of the month.  Didn't feel the joy of the holiday season.  Made myself proud for being strong.  Played with my new camera.  Saw some great shows.


So there it is.

Got my haircut and was talked out of getting it all cut off, not long enough to donate yet even though I really wanted to. Glad I didn't do it now.  Thanks Stacy for talking me down.

Denver Arts Week - Nov 14-22

Ok so I have been feeling largely inspired by several things (obviously wanting to upgrade my camera was a kicker... and thanks Bro for the sage advise and backing me up on the J&R... that will be sweet)  and in my email this morning and yesterday too I am flooded by media.  Its a very very good thing. 

I am hearby putting all you Denver Readers on notice.  I want to have you have to participate in at least ONE event during Denver Arts Week.  Do one thing please.  I never ask you to do anything. Have I ever? I don't remember. Anyways.  Plenty to do around here during this time that is for sure. In fact it even really starts off the week before with First Friday on November 7th.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

I am still compiling the list of the movies / er...films that I want to see at the Denver Film Festival this year.  A couple were actually brought to my attention that I missed when glancing through the schedule yesterday so maybe I will get a list of the things that I might see together today, it might be tomorrow.

I am struggling though to keep busy at work right now.  I know that there are tons of things that I can get done but whoa nelly I am hardly motivated.  Taking the couple hours yesterday morning for a little mental health break was warranted I think for sure. I am glad I did it.  I should have taken the whole day off but just couldn't. 

And in other Dumb Ass moves yesterday... put my mp3 player on my IPhone and it made the thing go all wonkie (well the screen at least) and finally had to reset it which was a pain in the ass.  But its fixed which is really a nice thing but it had me really annoyed for about 10 minutes thinking I totally jacked it up. 

So today I am going to go and vote, get a new radio/alarm clock for the bedroom (the alarm isn't working anymore ... thus waking up late yesterday and sleeping with one eye open this morning waiting waiting waiting but having nothing happen), return some stuff to amazon (they are super cool) and see Velvet Cash tonite. If'n you want discount tickets for the door, email me and I will send you a ticket to get you in for two bucks.

I am hoping F comes through with tickets for Monday... all of a sudden, kinda totally into it.  Hmmmmm.  Ok off to get some workie mcworkerson things done so that I can justify leaving to vote! Yay go me.

There are certain things in this world that are neither earth shattering nor shocking.  But soul shaking.  I sit here in my bathrobe fresh out of the shower (which was too hot for this climate as it is starting to get really dry again) and I realize... I am a huge dumbass. Yep. Dumb. Ass.  Why? Well... here it is... simply and straightforward like... I bought the wrong camera. 

Now don't get me wrong, I love my camera.  It has brought me great joy over the last 6 months or so. Seriously.  LOVE IT.  See how easy that is to say?  LOVE IT.  LOVE YOU CANON S5 IS LURVE YOU... but... still it is the wrong camera.  I can't even remotely do what I need to with it.  When I bought it I was trusting that when the guy said I could buy lenses for it and could get an adapter ring which would then fit any lens that I want to buy later I believed him.  Straight up. Didn't question it. Didn't assume he didn't know what he was talking about...but... when I look up to get a low light lens I find... that wow...he lied. 

So now I am pondering something very wonderful, what camera do I invest in so I have the right one?  I  don't know.  I am actually very excited by this prospect.  I have to be honest I am.  I find that I am looking up cameras and camera bodies and am thrilled about it.  I feel very punk rock about it too.  I feel like I am giving the big ole middle finger to the economy, the political system and wallstreet spending money right now.  I been rocking the overtime the last few months and honestly now I know it is worth it because I have a small little surplus o' cash and can spend it how I wish.  Sure I could go and buy some clothes (not that I have any room in my closet), thought about buying some snazzy boots but I have some (and again... closet space it at a serious premium), I have bought the birthday presents and other gifts that are necessary and given with care, but...now... I think I am ready to upgrade again. 

Ready as I will ever be actually. 

Besides this camera thing is now giving me something to obsess about other than some things going on in my personal life.  Stupid shit that has me all twitterpated and whiggie but in a good and interesting and fun way in my head that is. Things that I didn't ever anticipate thinking about ever... so now that I am, its weird.

I was looking up some places online to potentially buy cameras, found some super cheap places, but whoa do a little searching on customer experiences and you would be shocked how awful these places are written about.  One of the places is a total bait and switch joint out of the 100 maybe people posting only one had anything positive to say.  I will be buying from Amazon for sure.  I am ok giving Jeff Bezos my dollars.  I am down with that. 

Why I love PhotoJoJo

They have put together a kick ass list of Flickr toys and tools for your pleasure (and mine too) I feel some time suckage coming on....

so I got this really weird email this morning asking to use one of my photos as an accent to a story about a young lady that sold 17thousand boxes of girl scout cookies (good for her!). So here it is. Interesting. Not particularly my best photo ever but thanks for wanting it I suppose.

Also one of the headers in my Gmail just now was for a Big Lewbowski costume. Um really? A bathrobe, bowling ball, a white russian and shower shoes... how hard is that? I wish it would come up again, I should have clicked the link. OK here it is:Big Lebowski Costume - 80sTees.com - Go as "The Dude" this year with an exclusive replica Bowling shirt. Retarded.

I have spent most of the last couple hours on the MySpace (Dev you will be so proud of me...) came across a ton of people from back in the day. Really really funny. Some that I didn't know were alive anymore and some people that I hardly could bear to not click "add to friends" but I don't know the protocol for doing that for real people (that might not remember me at all) and are not bands or artistic / cultural institutions. And I thought my day today was going to be boring and miserable since it is my Friday sorta.... wrongo. Who knew. Kinda drinking the MySpace Kool-Aid right now. And finally remembered Brother Rat. It would have driven me crazy.

And by the way mentioning F's band to Mr Potato Man aparantly made him really jealous and get super cranky. Big baby. You are on a completely different continent schmo get over it. Besides, and I asked him this, what would your girlfriend think. That really made him go all inactive on chat. So sad. And yet really so funny.

talkie talkie

So sometimes I have hilarious conversations with my Dad, usually it ends up with my saying something completely inappropriate and off color that I just have to sit there and admit I am not ashamed to have just said that had I the money I would consider hiring Elliot Spitzer's call girl because I would love to know what $4500 an hour really does get you and if there are any tricks (no pun intended) that garners that kind of cash layout (again, no pun intended). Seriously. And the fact that I said it in front of my Grandfather and Great Aunt in the middle of a busy salad bar shouldn't surprise anyone that really knows me.

Now, that being written I was looking online for quotes to put up above my kitchen entrance. I have this drop ceiling that I used to print out pictures that my friends had taken and now with the advent of blik I just wanted something that was fun and fit me and the mood I want in the house, while their fancy little do dads and shapes were fine, I wanted something better, more personal... so I found some transparancy "paper" laying around the office and went to printing. . I had a quote from a chorus in Temptation by Tom Waits but it was small and I wasn't finding inspiration like I was hoping. I found a couple things from Dorothy Parker that were just alright but not what I was looking for. I searched and searched and couldn't find anything. I had a really amazing line from Everything Goes To Hell but I really had to find something better suited for something my parents could see. I think I found a happy medium with the quote from Roll the Dice...

It snowed this morning. Which is completely crazy, but it was just really actually kind of fun I have to admit. Nothing in the world like having to take Herschel for a walk at 7 am in sleet. It felt like little tiny needles hitting my face. Precious.

Just spent some time just now on the phone talking with a cow-erker about the old Elitches. Good times. If anyone can remember the name of the ride that was near the entrance that would go forwards and backwards and you had to sit on the interior part of the car because otherwise you would be completely squished by the person next to you... we would appreciate any help you could provide...
I say it was the Alpine Express, but that just does not seem right. A venture to Lakeside this summer is in order, non of this newfangled amusement park junk...


(edited to add: thank you PoPo... it was called The Zeigspritz)

Oh happy Friday to you by the way as well!

In other news... enjoy the pretty picture....I will be baking pies. I am trying out a pecan pie recipe that is going to be interesting.

I have one thing to say here. Why did I not understand this before... Dennis Leary....zee yum. I just called PoPo and left her a v/m to the same effect. And it doesn't help that I have to wait until June 13 for the season premiere.

Pretty good day. I am working on the minutes and honestly it is an act of true forcing of myself to do it. Although the first meetings minutes that I took are a little easier because I was less about the shorthand when I was doing the dictation, so that helps a little bit.

I have Things to Do in Denver When You are Dead on Steevoh. You know I haven't ever actually seen the whole thing through? I can show you the scenes that I was able to work on but that is about it. The soundtrack actually is pretty good which is keeping me going. I am about halfway through the minutes. Phew. Five Points looks gorgeous.

OK the minutes are done. Sweet.

Just went and took a picture of this heinous bruise I have. It is brilliant and colorful and it took me about a day to figure out how I got it. Fun. And yes it was.

And for the record I have no new shows or anything on Steevoh. Time to turn off the tv and read a book. Yay!

bit the bullet...

So finally after a year of talking the talk and not walking the walk, I got a mid level digital slr today. And I didn't even have to use any tax return money (which I wouldn't have done any way but good thing I wasn't planning on it because I still haven't done them yet... Wednesday perhaps, Thursday... my Mom my accountant always pushes me to the last minute and it makes me nervous). But I have been saving and thinking and wishin' and a hopin' that I would buy one and today when I saw it on sale almost a hundred dollars less than I was actually going to pay someone else online at Circuit City and I could pick it up in less than 25 minutes, color me done.

So I bought a Canon S5 IS. It is a mid level SLR with plenty of the options that I want with out going really deep into the territory of near professional level cameras and the cost. I don't know what I am doing in the least so getting this camera is a step in the right direction. And it amazingly is small enough to fit in the case that I carried my other cameras in. So it will still fit in my purse which is crazy and completely unplanned but a super nice surprise. Discovered that on the phone with PoPo.

Took a couple pictures but not happy with the results but that is because they are grainy since I have no clue what I am doing with this baby. But I am excited about using a viewfinder again. Mostly I have shot pictures with the lcd panel, which is fine but once I update and get lenses then I am getting into the viewfinder action.

So off to read the manual I suppose so I can have a little clue what this thing really could do and how to make it happen.

listening to Los Angeles...

I am subscribed to the Jonathan Adler email blast list. First of all I just LURVE him. Second of all the emails are incredibly whitty . But in todays email there is a promo for custom hand cut profiles. Seriously. This is beyond magical. Me likey.

I have for some reason hit the jackpot on Pandora because I am sitting here listening to Screenwriter's Blues by Soul Coughing (really loud too) and I am recalling the first time I heard it. We were sitting in Canters Kibbitz Room. A walked in with his portable cd player (remember when those were hi tech?) and said, listen to this. I was in love. Drunk on the rhythm of the words and the truth. We immediately after finishing our drinks, of course, went to Virgin on Sunset and bought everything we could get our grubby little hands on, which at that time was the two records and the PoemPhone cd. They played at the Troubadour and I dragged M there, he wasn't so happy but I was ecstatic.

They played at the Ogden Theater the last time I saw them. It was fantastic. Had tickets to the last show but it was canceled due to Marc Sandman passing away. Just found the Fox show archived and streamed online. We tried to get an interview but missed the window due to traffic. I will always be bummed by that. And I am loving this live show so much I completely jacked up an email. Hit send when I should have proofed and didn't. Now I look like a giant ass correcting myself. Slow down missy.....

I am eating almonds and cashews and believing that from behind I look like I am having a seizure. And you know what. I really don't think that I can be bothered by that at all right now. The headphones are bringing me immense joy.

Also I am going to have to take pictures of my new baby with my new baby. More on that later.

So Cousin G and I are going to run errands this afternoon. Its creative diversion. I know exactly what she is doing for me and I am grateful. Don't get me wrong, I will get a couple things done while whiggin' so its all pretty damn good. Temptation makes me pick up and want to crawl down a rabbit hole of wishfullness but I have to be careful because I know myself to well and Cousin G is keeping me on the straight and narrow and away from the madness of it.

My plants were in revolt today, looking sad and ignored, now that I finally remembered to water them I see them perking up. Oops.


I took the picture above from the balcony of my room Thursday night. What is so significant is that I took my camera off "auto" and went "manual". While I was doing it I seriously was thinking about a friend of mine in college who always encouraged my photography bug. He is / was an amazing photographer and I learned so much during our friendship then. We would hang at Paris on the Platte and he would help me learn about what I should do to further my interest. I think of him so often, and in the wine filled haze, taking my camera off auto for the first time and playing around with apature settings to take this picture in the pitch darkness, I remembered what he taught me. It was foolish to balance the camera on this thin rail but no damage was done, it was a risk to not loose the camera down 7 stories, but it worked. The picture is amazing to me for alot of reasons, because I did take that risk. And what is completely even more freaky and crazy is when I opened my email the next morning he had emailed me.
I was sitting there at the beginning of this meeting and said "holy crap" a little too loud, but I mean it is weird. But thrilling and so nice that out of nowhere with having his lessons in my head he found my email and made the contact. Very precipitous and just when I need the inspiration too. And he was the only person that I knew that worked on large format polaroid that wasn't my dad. Its pretty cool.

I am a little drunk on good good good food tonite, good wine (our sommelier was 500% better tonite than last night) and really funny sing alongs. Poaching wireless from a very well known university because I can't be bothered to walk in my f'n cute pajamas to another building to sit in their main lobby for wifi and to have some little monkey put a virus out on the network they use. I watched him do it and watched him as he watched each one of us get hit. It was innocuous but still... ass munch. I was watching him revel in some joy, but then my software announced I was being hit and walked over to him and said... what are you doing ... oh just cuz he can he says. So scrubbed my hard drive this morning. Ginormous pain in the ass. So...... Thank you well known communications university for letting me poach your wireless network for the next like five minutes while I obsessively check my email and stats.

Ok so tomorrow end of the conference and I have to say... kinda sad its over. I love the people I work with... and ultimately work for. They are the bitchen'est folks on the planet. And during the sing along to Sweet Caroline (where I was in fact called out on the fact that I can't carry a key to save my life) I realized... this is better than the Layzher, The Firm and dare I even say it...The Show all put together.

I am one lucky puppy.

today I am tired.... all I wanted to do was sleep in...

From Yesterday:

I just bought another print on 20x200: . I decided that I am going to bring the other print into the office and hang it behind my monitor and really for some reason was drawn to Opp, Alabama by Scott Eiden. I don't know if it is because it is stark or he fashioned a nice little history of the building and it's inhabitants. I don't know if it is because it is a photograph versus some of the print work she has posted. I don't know. But I instinctively hit... buy me some art... or whatever the button says and I was done. It isn't the brightest or even cheeriest peices I have seen or bought. Maybe its because this is nearly what the clouds looked like this morning as I drove in to work, late by the way.... Just grey and gray.

I love this for many reasons... but have not hit the buy me button. I don't know why. I think perhaps it reminds me enough of some of the motels up and down Colfax. I don't know.

From Today:

So I have been updating Plaxo. I have to set it up for work because some of our executives use it. It used to be alot like Linked In, which I have used when I was looking for a job a couple of years ago. One of the ladies that I interviewed with, who was awesome by the way... and the job would have been awesome too except for the fact that I got the job where I am now which is awesome-er. Anyways. So I got the email today that Comcast and Plaxo have teamed up (well actually comcast bought it) and are offering the system to their subscribers gratis, which is nice. I hate to say this, but I am actually a little excited. I have always liked Plaxo and now it synchs with all my google information including my calendar and contacts so this is actually pretty neat. Over the weekend I will play around and see if it still is as neat.

I have all my work done and about 45 minutes left in my work day. I would very very much like to crawl under my desk and take a little nap. But I was chatting with the Bro and I have to stay awake and motivated so that I can stop at Pho 79 on the way home for dinner. I was going to take it "to go" but Jason Sheehan's description of the coffee curls my toes, just a little bit and it might be just what I need to get out of this mood I am in. Plus I don't have the fixin's to do it up right ...at home....Maybe I will stop home, take Herschel for his walk and hopefully get back out to have some dinner, I just have to stay motivated, which I am finding incredibly hard to do. I might have to scrap the plan and go for lunch tomorrow instead. I haven't had delicious Pho since The Bro and I went for lunch the last time he was in town. All I know is Auntie Pickles really needs some protien.

I have been very very good today. I didn't save any online files that I came upon like I normally would have. I am really really proud of myself for not right clicking and saving the pictures to my hard drive. Proud... so proud I am. I didn't even bookmark the site I found them on. I don't need it/them. It's burned into my memory enough as it is. Its absolutely just what I needed actually. Helping to pull that bandaid off so to speak. Rip it off my arm taking with it the litle hairs of memory as well. Its all soooo very very very good. Seriously, how good is today?

In cleaning today I found cds that I didn't even remember buying. And they are really good cds too. I know that I moved them from under my old tv and into the shelves but really exciting because I have music ...new music.

I decided I am going to buy a new camera in the new year. I bought my Canon at least 4 years ago after my Sony was stolen at a work event and my Exlim about 6 months after that. The technology has changed a tad and I really think I am ready to upgrade. I am not sure if I want another small point and shoot (Lumix would probably be my choice) or go full on SLR (this Nikon is teenie tiny and probably what I would get).

I am really pysched about the opportunity to rediscover stuff I have spent my money on.

Oh and G... let P have the tea, I am ok with it. Besides I know how good real English tea really is. Let him have it already!

ANDDDD... so glad that I didn't try and drive to New Mexico today. The weather was really bad and my friend that works in Albajerkie said that the news was that there were a bunch of accidents so really super glad I didn't get in the middle of all that. So spent the day cleaning and watching Woot and getting through a book. I took the time off today to clean, read, write cards and watch Woot. It was terrific.

Tonite I had the most delicious tequila (yes I said tequila) I have ever had. First let me preface this with... I don't drink tequila. I really don't drink much at all anymore. Not for any other reason than I drive. I am the driver. I don't drive and drink. Its the rule. Oh heck lets even admit it...it is the law and I am a law abiding girl.

::cough cough::

I say that now.

ANYWAYS. I met PoPo for dinner and we were sitting at the bar and I asked if I could take some pictures of the bottles because they were really pretty and colorful.



(Yes I know it is totally overexposed... the one with no flash was really dim and it was allllll about the bottle color). I so really don't know which bottle was opened, I think it was the red one. Mr. PoPo told me to sniff it and see what I smelled. Citrus and "hot". I tasted. I was great. Just enough to cover my tongue, just enough to get that fire and heat and then I tasted citrus and mango. I swear. It was great, delicious even. Who am I? I don't like tequila... and I will admit on first taste I accidentally breathed in and coughed for about two minutes. But second taste... that is where the business end of our newfound relationship with tequila begins.

Then I was taking some other pictures and Mr. PoPo gave me the most amazing concoction that I didn't even know existed.


Yep coffee Patron. I hate to give away my newfound little secret, but it was really amazing. Seriously. You wouldn't think would ya? Well you would be wrong. If you are wanting to try it yourself, go to La Cueva, tell them Zoe sent you. They will look at you with a weird look because they so don't know me as Zoe, but they will welcome you with open arms and let you order up some deliciousness yourself and the food is muy delicioso. I spoke broken Spanish all night so why not carry on the tradition here.

I do know that I am going to act really surprised a Hanukkah this year, but that is ok... because yum. Sorry VanGough but I think I have to replace you. I will be making martini's this weekend to get rid of the two bottles I have in my freezer I think because there is a new coffee flavored booze in town and its name is Patron.

Oh and to the guy with really cool glasses...sorry about my potty mouth. Lets blame it on the booze.

I have completely obsessed about a picture that I know that I downloaded and can't find. It is driving me batty. But it made me really get the ticket to clue bus....my files are in chaos and I have to fix it and soon.

There is no order, no reason behind how I have stored many of my pictures that I have. Even the ones that I have taken myself. I fixed up some of what I have on the lap top, but its my cpu that is a mess. I have picasa loaded and still it really isn't helping all that much because there are hidden files (why would I do that?) that don't archive. GRRRR. I emailed my cousin about someone that is hyperlinking from his family's gallery site to a her myspace page and I got the strong sense that he was trying to sell me some art. Dude.... no thank you. If you could get me a dali for less than retail I might be interested, but until I have THAT kind of money... buying a print, not even a litho, doesn't interest me. Besides I can go to art.com and have them screen whatever I want onto canvas for goodness sake... they didn't give my Mom a deal on some art that she ordered from the gallery and I will never get over that. Seriously, isn't there something about a family discount in this family? Dad would give it to them on meat... it doesn't make up for the fact that I can't find the ONE picture that I have been looking for, for four days.

I might have to find something else to rastorbate because what I want to do isn't going to happen I fear. I found two other really great options though so it isn't a completely lost cause. But now I can't find what I am looking for and I am a girl possessed. And it isn't even tangible really what I am looking for, so the glass by the door trick ain't gunna work.

I did though find some evidence of some very weird behaviour about five years ago. Eek. Apparently I had a thing with goldfish crackers. Let me just leave it at that ok. Let your mind wander, I guarantee you will never actually consider what this picture entails. And it isn't dirty, just really weird. And keep in mind this all took place sitting outside the named partner of a respected law firm that I was in. Even more mysterious why that behaviour was encouraged and photographed. THAT was a fun law firm to work in. Good times.

I haven't watched tv outside of the two baseball games in almost four days. My house has been so quiet. I love it like this. My neighbors aren't around, although the guy across the hall is but he is frighteningly quiet. Sometimes I worry but he ain't no Michael & Cynthia so best to just not get too friendly. He is a really nice guy, but has really shleppy friends and an ex that keeps "just coming by to say hi". He is young bless his heart, but they need to not knock on my door looking for him.

OH! And I got out of staying both nights at this hotel for a work event today. I am so happy. One of the managers in my department asked if she could stay which brought such joy to my heart I couldn't believe it. Only "w" gets my aversion to hotels, although we aren't staying at crap hotels, I just don't need to stay at a place literally that I could walk to my house from in about a half hour or have a 6 dollar cab ride. Herschel will be much happier to have me home.

fә'tɑgrәfi

I have to go all logon for comments because some chazer has me on his spam email list. So hopefully the 'bot will stop earmarking my blog and move onto the next one. But in the meantime you wanna comment, not only will you have to logon to do so, but everything is moderated (so if you want to send me a super secret message, guhhead).

In other news, I spent the last two days buying cameras. I found the following and all in working order: Kodak Brownie Hawkeye, Kodak Brownie Holiday, Baby Brownie Special, Kodak Instamatic x15, Argus Cintar, and an Arrow (which is a Diana Debutaunte without the branding). This is added to my two Argoflex that I already have and the two Poloroid that my Dad gave me a month ago, my Holgas, my Olympus OM10 and my three or so digital cameras. They are all out instead of piled in a box in the closet so maybe I will get my tush in gear and use them.

I have never actually fancied myself a photographer because I think I have a terrible eye, never just focus on one thing, I am all over the place subject-wise and I believe truely that a photographer is the kind of person that has a dark room in their bedroom closet instead of shoes. I couldn't do that because the chemicals no matter what I do instantly make me want to pee.

My Dad had a darkroom set up in the warehouse next to the meat packing plant when I was growing up. We would go there on Sunday's and play around with developing and stuff. I remember that so well. And because I hated to go downstairs in the dark by myself I would stand there having to pee I was miserable. Plus the warehouse guys were really filthy and I hated using that bathroom over by the office. Even then I was a princess. I was seriously bummed when he sold all the equipment because now I probably could afford to have someone use it at a co-op or something. I know that The Other Side Arts downtown had a darkroom and the fees were obviously reasonable, going there now (not working downtown would be an issue, and I used to be their landlord along with D so it would be kinda weird, or not, I don't know) might be my option because I won't have to buy any equipment and chemicals and I know exactly where the bathrooms are and they are clean.

I stopped by Wolf camera to see about 120 expired rolls but they didn't have any in-stock, I know who totally beat me to the stock and I curse him....but its ok. He is the one that told me to go there in the first place. I put in an order for 10 rolls of 127 and I am frightened by what that will cost me, its no longer made but the guy said they have a source...we will just see. I found a place online that sells it and link to it here so should you find yourself wanting to buy that Brownie... just like me you can buy film for it still.

One of the guys, Bill, that I bought a couple of the cameras from yesterday told me all about his sister who was a photographer in the Navy during WWII. And that one of the cameras that I bought was hers (yeah right) but it is a good story none the less, I believe the part about his sister being in the Navy but I seriously doubt that I bought one of her cameras. I totally overpaid for one of them buy about 10 bucks, but I did get the story so its ok. He was a nice guy and since he was in the store told the Antique Mall lady to give me 10% off. So its ok, I guess.

So I have the bug in a way. Which isn't a bad thing. I need to get a battery for my Olympus and didn't even thing about that when I was at Wolf. Oops. Next weekend.