I was really very brave just now.

So the evil has caught up with me.

Yeah and I totally am a sucker and need to get over it.  I made a huge mistake and now ... I have to live with it. What pray tell am I even remotely talking about.... oy...vey... I accepted a friend invite to facebook that I shouldn't have.  Yeah yeah yeah... someone that I really don't like.  Someone that don't really think that I would even call a frenemy.  Why did I do it?  Guilt.  I did it because I felt guilty about not liking her for as long as I have. But really honestly she lives in the same town and I wouldn't even remotely consider picking up the phone to call her so why on god's green earth would I actually accept the friend invitation?  I am a freakin' moron is why. 

I put pictures up of my  peeps there and I don't want this woman to know I even exist.  Now I am stuck I don't know how to un-friend her.  We aren't friends.  We don't know one another.  I don't care about her.  I will probably send her a little message, say how odd that it was and then politely un-accept and back out.

I think that is only the right thing to do.

So I emailed her. Then removed her.  And what is really weird is that facebook allows you to remove people without them even ever actually knowing.  I think that is bad.  I think you should know if someone "unfriend accepts".  I think defeats the whole purpose.  But I also get that some people aren't adults and are teenagers and it can cause all sorts of problems and escalate. So I get it. I did the right thing though by telling her why and moving on.

But its done.  I will admit it, I caved.  Caved to the pressure to be nice.  But nice is dumb sometimes and that is what got me into so much trouble all those long long lost years ago.  I was far too nice to her and she was far far to mean and cruel to me.  So... we have moved on in our lives. Bully for us.  I am a nice girl now, still very untrusting because of her bullshit but I am still nice, but not her friend virtually either now.  She certainly can communicate with me via facebook messaging but certainly she is not on my friends list.  And certainly she should know why or should at least remember now. 

My mother would be proud.  She said why would i friend "that bitch" and really it got me thinking... why did I friend that bitch.  So I came home and did what needed to be done.

I will never network with that woman, haven't since the day I left the dorm we were living in so seriously not that big of a deal.  If I appear to be a bitch, fine, won't be the first nor the last time that happens to be sure. But she should understand my rationale and not be offended.

But I am proud of me for being mature and at least emailing her first.  It only seemed like the right thing to do.

Oh sweet baby Jeebus. I had plans.... oh did I have plans. Plans to clean out some (ok at least one drawer in my dresser tonite). Not for any other reason that I need the space for stuff I have hidden all over the place in nooks and crannies that are overflowing with this junk. But I have sat in front of the tv. This should come as no shock to anyone that knows me. I think honestly I might have to turn the tv off right now (it is 9:15) and get to work. It is only one drawer after all. It isn't like I have to pack up the entire house into four boxes and everything else must go right? Right.

So what do I think am I going to do first? Do I hit the dvd drawer/movie drawer? Do I work on the jewelry maddness I have happening consistantly all over the place? What about the makeup shinanegans in the bathroom closet drawer? How about the socks and tights situation of crazy I got going? If I planned it right and did what I was supposed to do I would have had them all done by now. Oh slacker me, I have to turn on the tv, watch some documentary (half assed I must admit) on some 50s documentarian that I thought might be interesting (it wasn't and I don't even remember the name and I just watched it...oy) or Sunday Morning from last week (hello super not so secret design crush Jonathan Adler and your husband Simon Doonan) or how about 10 episodes of Robot Chicken. Yeah not so productive.

But the weekend is almost here. I can maybe attack the crap then. I need an interventionist to come in and shake me to my core I think. Yes my nick name is Zoe and I am addicted to the tv and the internet, I am officially addicted to ... Comcast. Do they offer a nice retreatie rehab center for that? Where is my Promises Recovery Center for that? I want to know. I wonder if my health plan will cover it? What would that coverage rider be called.... Multi Media infatuationistis?

Ah but the tv is turned off. I am about to hit "publish" and get on with it already. Baby steps. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem.

No more email or reader feeds or steevoh for me for the next three hours. Promise. It can't be that hard can it?

Wish me luck and hopefully my clutter will diminished as a result. Lets hope.

Just a couple of things that are wonderful to me today:

• Yoplait Light Fat Free Black Berry Yogurt

• Getting all my work done except for planning one event by 12:30

• Having the cajones to say "no" to a request, sending the email and not regretting saying it (thanks for the back up Valentine)
  

• Deciding NOT to caucus

• Not freaking out with the blizzard tonite and the thunder and lightening that accompanied it

• Doing absolutely nothing at all tonite except run the dishwasher
  

the mass email and the aftermath...

So. A couple of months (lets say more like six) I ordered the reprint of the first three McSweeney's Quarterly's. Somewhere along the line one sweet dear gal put email addresses in the wrong line and sent out an email blast to a couple hundred people updating the status of the order. Most of the responses were fun. Some were in haiku. Most understood it was a mistake she accidentally divulged email addresses.

Most of the time I was really impressed by the communications between the people on this list. It reminded me how really smart and interesting people can be. The McSweeney's girl and I shared emails for a couple of weeks. I told her I would totally buy her muffins and coffee if I ever met her because its the best I can do. Shit happens, mistakes sometimes get made. I sent an email out to a client with forwarded information talking about how he was considered a "dick for" something or another from a forwarded comment from someone else in the office. Shit totally happens. We sorta bonded for those two weeks. She was really upset. I felt badly for her.

I rarely ever check that email address anymore in general since I migrated to Google and am pleased to say Gmail is just that much better (sorry rhymes with Smah-hoo). But today wanted to see what was in there.

And wouldn't you know... right there in my inbox "re: mcsweeneys issue 1-3" today. I couldn't wait to see what was in that email. Well it wasn't about that at all. It was a link to this guy's website/blog kvetching about being asked to subscribe to the yearly subscription and thus giving up the lifetime subscription something Gawker freakin' did three weeks ago.

This is what I wrote to him:

Hello there. I don't know you, you don't know me. But I did go and visit your "blog", your article, your post. I figured, I am at work, I can deal with someone's interesting take on something for a couple minutes. Why not.

Well sorry to harp on what some other people might have already written to you....

So you think hitting reply to all isn't spam... listen up Jaime... knowing how people were by in large pretty decent about Tavia's mistake way back lo' those six months ago...taking advantage of the same list to send a link to your blog entry is sad to say... probably by most of us on that list... considered Spam. And once you send something out personally, knowingly to that list, you have now taken ownership of the email list. So if someone says "take me off your list", hey, it kinda is now.

You do salvage yourself just a little bit by including down in the comments the article about the publisher going under, so that was good, but seriously, if you are going to discuss something about McSweeney's why not cover territory Gawker hasn't done already (on March 14th - http://gawker.com/news/mcsweeneys/dave-eggers-desperate-to-welsh-on-bad-bet-244079.php ). I doubt seriously many people know about Publishers Group West going under that would have been better than an email to a bunch of strangers basically saying "hey read my snark about Dave Eggars and McSweeney's".

Why not open the discussion to us about what we can do to help them out? Why so negative? Why not make that the focus of your article, why tread the same waters that Gawker did? Gawker didn't look further into the situation like you did, it would be nice for a supporter to do right by them. You might be disappointed that they are asking to take away your lifetime subscription, you do nothing more in your original article than whine about it... again later you almost redeemed yourself by posting the SF Chronicle article but the damage is done.

McSweeney's is an amazing frustration on so many levels but worth it at the end. I am never quite sure when my book club book will come, it eventually does, I don't know when anything is actually going to ship, yet there is always something in my mail box every now and again. And its beautifully bound. Different from the last. Its pure publication joy and part of the fun and point of McSweeneys after all. In addition when I do actually email the customer service person I always get an email back super quickly. Who else in the business world does that? Huh?

If you love McSweeney's as much as I think you are saying you do, how about going and writing them a check to help support the efforts? Mr. Eggers isn't canceling anything but trying to do something to possibly sway balance his checkbook. He easily could have sent a nasty-gram of cancellation but they aren't jerks, but they could have been.

I doubt they are eating ramen anymore as you probably aren't either. Fork over some cash friend, show them you do support them. And hey while you are at it... why don't you carefully consider the ramifications of sending email to a pretty nice group of people that might not be interested in reading your being bitter about being asked rather nicely to change your subscription.

All my love, included my email address and name

For his troubles though he does link to this article in the SF Chronicle (from January 27, 2007 by the way) about the publisher going under that McSweeney's works with. That is what I refer to above. It is an interesting article in that apparantly the company wasn't paying people and McSweeney's possibly was one of them and might be in some financial problems over it understandibly. My heart goes out to them. So I will sign up a little early for my Quarterly Subscription, let them have that money now instead of a couple of months from now. Its fine.

Seriously. I loves me some McSweeney's. I am not even going to consider whining about Wholpin and how it has yet to be even remotely quarterly... nope... let them have my money. DVD editing is expensive, I can be patient and wait. Keep the paper stuff coming, the electronic... I can wait for my additional three dvds, whatever, it seemed really ambitious and wasn't really counting on it anyway.

And for the record... Publishers Group West obviously isn't the only game in town because Issue 22 of the Quarterly kicked ass. Perhaps they have gone back to Iceland. All I can say is, this guy might have made a lot of people mad and didn't really even cover new territory and that is lame as hell.

~~~~~~

edited to add: He did email me back with the additional post on his blog. I take the quotes off because it is a blog, and he wants it called that I suppose. I am down. He fessed up to some stuff and I was the one who said he was being snarky for the record, he was, and in the context of what he wrote it wasn't bad snarky (and snarky doesn't equal bad and I told him that). I just was pissed that the post was not fully scoped out for anything except a reaction, which he wanted and got. He could have gotten more accomplished with the full story, which I hope I have put here. In sporatic bits and peices. But a little more fleshed out below. See everyone needs sometime to edit and rework a peice. I am not completely without understanding of the process.

Here it is: McSweeneys had at one time lifetime subs. It was limited. Lucky few got them. I am jealous I didn't, I came two issues too late to the party, bygones. Eggars sent a letter with the last issue asking life subbers to go to annual subs. Gawker thought it was baseless and purely a sign of success perhaps. Jaime posted he wasn't happy either. Jaime emailed a group of people from an accidental email from months ago, to come and look at his post. Some did. Others may have not. I was one of those that did. The article stated he was annoyed and was kinda funny about it, sure. But still, it was territory already covered. Later in the comments it was added ... oh by the way... here is a link to an article saying McSweeneys might have been ripped off so they might actually maybe need the money and it might not be completely baseless. I email Jaime (see above). Jaime emails me back with his additional comments on his blog, guh'head give him the counter hits and go and read his addition.

In the end, McSweeneys still might need the money, so go and buy a kick ass book or something.