Rebel Girl: My Life as a Feminist Punk by Kathleen Hanna
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I picked up this book as a respite from another book that was challenging me. It was well worth it!

I have not been a Bikini Kill fan, I was a little late in the game to get into the band back in the day. Kathleen Hanna gets her due in this book. I loved the nugget sized chapters and appreciate how to the point and funny this woman is.

This really is no holds barred.
Kathleen Hanna writes from her heart which was the point of who she wanted to you to know more about by writing this book.

If you are wanting to read a book, a memoir, a tale of near success and survival... this is a great book for you.

I personally loved it! It came to me at a time that I needed it and if I were to run into Kathleen Hanna on the streets, I would for sure let her know that this was a great read.

She is hilarious, sad, fun, challenging, truthful and most of all far more endearing than I was lead to believe. Never judge a person / personality by what is forced down your perceptions people. She is one of a kind and to me in a fantastic way.

PS her editor Ada Calhoun wrote an amazing book. Look it up not going to take the shine off this book by linking... but it's really a delight as well.



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The History of Bones by John Lurie

History of Bones by John Lurie

"I don’t want to visit cheap".  This is a quote from John Lurie's latest book:  The History of Bones (this link will take you to a google preview of the book, it's a pretty random view of the book, but a good idea of the book).

Amen.  

He doesn’t sell himself (or his story) out on what YOU think is important. I am glad that he didn't cowtow to writing about what people want to hear and it’s glorious. 

There are a bunch of random reviews out there that will entice you by saying things like: a great book about the grit of NY in the late 70s. Sure, I guess. But really and this is what I got out of it... it's all about the value and desire of a musician to make a difference in the world and what he has to do to get there.  

It's gritty as things get with no apologies, but it's really self reflection and not hot goss about Studio 54 and the East Village which is what some of the preliminary reviews were and I couldn't have wished for anything more different.  

The first five chapters are so important to the rest of the story do not skip them. Truly. It’s a side I certainly did not know. I mean I read the book so I could know more but this was very important reading to understand who Mr. Lurie is and why he pursues everything in the way that he writes about.  To me, this was wildly brave.

It’s a semi-linear story told in fits and starts which while reading it’s like listening to John Lurie tell you the story directly… and yes there is an audio book that will be just be that exact piece of art. If you have watched "Painting with John" (and I suggest that you do), there is a familiarity in the narrative.  If you have seen "Fishing with John" then you definitely are in familiar narrative territory.  

About halfway through is where the book fine tunes (no pun I promise) so there are some of the more juicer tales.  The pace is the same but things get busier and more prolific for John Lurie. 

Lots of drug use without apology so it can be triggering and honestly hard to read. But he puts it out there and it’s brave.  Lots of memoirs talk of drug use and this is so matter of fact that you have to wonder... how can this be, but knowing that there are no other punches pulled, welp, it can and it was.  He doesn't glorify it at all.  It's pretty heavy to read.   

There is an interlude (one of many) that was so touching and seriously kind an observation about Andy Warhol when I read it my idea of both of them are actually changed. 

86 % in the book (at least according to my reader counter thingie) we get this quote- "making a record is a very artificial thing to do. You are trying to encapsulate , in sound, this thing that is a little moment of soul." I sucked in a huge gasp of air when I read that.  It was like "boom" this is what this book is about.... little moments of soul , further peppered with moments of struggle, love and other creative gestures. 

That is what this book really is about in my opinion, John Lurie... the musician.  Every bit of the book always comes back to the music for Lurie. 

It was a great read.  

There are some great pictures shared too of his life which if you read all the way through the book, then go and look at them and then they will make more sense.  So read the book, then look at the pictures.  I am glad that I waited to look at what photos he did share.  

I honestly will be ordering the audio book too so I can hear him tell me the stories and tales of the road again. It was that good to me. 

 

Jenny Lawson's Furiously Happy and why I took so long to read this book

Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Soooooo... back in June... looking for ideas for the Punk Rock Book Club (tm) ... I did get notice that the book was on sale on Amazon. I scooped it up... knowing that I wanted it and have for a long time.

So why only now... say January 2017, 6 months later am I actually finishing it?

Here are some reasons why NOT:

Not because I loaned to book to F. Made him read it because he needed to understand why I would lay in bed giggling.

Not because I loaned it to another friend because SHE needed to know why I was giggling.

Not because I put it down because I got sad that Jenny Lawson is dealing with some shit.

Not because I was overwhelmed with life, I mean my issues are insignificant comparitively.

Why did it take so long to finish this book? I didn't want it to end. Seriously. That is the only real reason. I may actually go back and read it again just so that I can enjoy it double as much. Jenny Lawson's insights into life, her ups and downs, her marriage, her relationships are incredible. Lessons were learned. My issues.... irrelevant compared to what Ms. Lawson brings to the table. And seriously... if she can overcome, find the funny and share it... this girl can too.

I think that is the best lesson learned. I had to finish it so that I could start it over again. This time... I will take notes. This next time I will laugh harder and more outloud. I am actually a better person for reading her book. It's funny as all get out and was like my friend Lisa said... a gift. And lucky for me... a present that I get to open again!

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Denver has a burgeoning food truck scene. It seems that this gastronomical phenomenon is country wide. You can see the Food Truck Race on Food TV and the Cooking Channel. It's the "in thing" right now. It will pass, food fads always do, but in the meantime it's always a pleasure to happen across Denver's great chef's cooking out of trucks. I have to admit, I totally love it.

We have partaken in the Waffle Brother's yummy sugary waffles (at their storefront actually but it started on a cart), the fabu burgers from Stuebens at the UMS this year, walked by but talked to Dylan Moore of the Orange Rocket from Deluxe (we weren't into the idea of ceviche at the time...) and had a GREAT conversation,picked up a loki moki from the Steamin' Demon from Watercourse and City O'City, picked up cupcakes from the Cupcake Truck at Jazz in the Park a few weeks back, and I have gotten a cheese steak or three.

What I found today (via Cafe Society's blog on Westword) a fine gentleman in Denver has built an entire website that will closely follow the trend and the vendors and their locations....

Please to enjoy: From Denver with Fries !

So the holiday season is upon us.

Photo from Last Year at Mezcal

Hanukah is in a week, Christmas at the Vaughans tonite and for the rest of the world seemingly in a few weeks. New Years then Winter. It's all a little overwhelming I have to admit. I am stuck in this world of crappy gift giving because I dont' have much money, there is some job security but after the last four months I am not so sure (although the problem in our office has gone away, but that doesn't mean anything...really) so I am trying to play it low key, but with low key comes crappy gifts.

Keep those expectations LOW my friends and family because this year the magic ain't happening.

But I do really enjoy seeing the Christmas Tree lots popping up all over the place and people driving cars with trees tied to the roofs and wreaths placed on the grills (that really is my favorite, which is weird, but it does make me smile...broadly).

I have had an exhausting few weeks. But everything is better now. Much better. I skype'd with my niece which was all sorts of adorable and very exciting since this lady hadn't ever actually done it before. I was brave and spoke my mind about something that was bothering me and everything was ok in the end. I survived some serious sad insanity at work and walked away feeling much more pity than the anger that most people feel about the situation. I didn't go out much the last few weeks because I wasn't just "feeling" it and to force myself to be out at shows wasn't my idea of fun. I did see my friend's band play two weeks ago but it was so crowded all the pictures I got were blurry and not good. I ordered a couple of lenses for my camera so hopefully I can get inspired again.

The good news, the very good news, is that I am seriously surrounded (some close by and some further away) by the most amazing and interesting and consistently creative people I have been since I was in college. And some of those people from college still are around which is so neat. I have an amazing family. I have a really great boyfriend. I find myself wanting to yell how lucky I am but I can't because I don't want to be a braggart about any of it. I don't take it at all for granted. Not for one single minute.

Yikes has it really been over a month... oops. I guess that real life business of not having much to share has gotten in the way with posting online. Lets see...

Started to read The Death of Bunny Munro then got freaked out when I was reading it that I would hear it as in fact Nick Cave was reading it to me in my head. It was a little disconcerting to go through that before I would go to bed so I put it down a couple of weeks ago and haven't picked it up again. Perhaps I will get to it soon, it wasn't bad, not great but certainly worth finishing.

I saw my very first Fellini movie in a theater. Wait that is confusing. I saw a Fellini movie in a theater, which is the first time seeing a Fellini movie on a screen larger than 42". Ok that makes better sense. It was early on a Saturday night and we were thinking of something to do. I was thinking about dinner and a movie but it turned out just to be Amaracord. In true Fellini fashion it was beautiful, disconjointed and delightful. I really can say it was better on a theater screen. One of the trailers before the movie was for the TV show "Modern Family" (which I am finding delightful to watch by the way)... there was an older gentleman in the theater that very loudly said "that looks like a comedy, I am not going to watch it". It was so funny. We giggled about it all night.

Later that night we went to Karaoke. Yep. I swear my little mind was blown. I just can only say F can sing... daymn. He got some ladies to clear the dance floor of tables and dance. It was amazing to see. Didn't know about this skill of his. Just thinking about it makes me smile a little. Ok... OK... alot.

I got over some of my issues with Jack White freaking me out after seeing "It Might Get Loud". He still creeps me out a little bit but after watching this movie about the three guitar giants play and talk about playing I respect the begebus out of the guy. And it was cool to see a little closer up than I ever have or will the set up that The Edge uses. Technology is is friend and it's neat to know a little bit more about how he makes his sound so uniquely his.

Finally placed an order for one of the many jars in the Vices Jar Collection from Jonathan Adler. It was such a disappointing mess that the delivery took nearly two weeks to arrive that sadly I don't think I will ever go to the effort to order again. I adore (no j'adore) the aesthetic that Mr. Adler has there is something truly lovely about the 60's Hollywoodchic design style but I am done. NOW... that being said they did me right, by crediting the shipping charges and offered me a discount on any future purchase, but sorry. The Prozac Jar will have to be my stopping point.

Got a miserable cold that lasted for a couple weeks. Cracked a tooth, possibly from grinding my teeth and am in the starting process of getting it fixed (part one of the initial root canal is done... and I can finally close my mouth completely and chew... its fantastic).

I met a lovely little girl that makes my bro and sister parents and me an aunt. This was the highlight of September I have to admit.

Memorable shows include: The Flaming Lips at Red Rocks,the Happy Mondays and the Physchedlic Furs at the Boulder Theater, Jen Korte and the Loss at the Walnut Room, David Cross book signing at the Tattered Cover (for a couple reasons....F was there, it's all I can say) and then the standup at the Paramount (even though because of my tooth and the ensuing bone infection, oh I didn't mention that above? Yeah... I was miserable), Aenka in a parking lot and Derby on the Rocks Western Regional Championships.

It has been a great month hope that it has been for you too.

(thank you Blessed Are the Forgetful (and Charlie Kaufman ultimately)

Friday night when we are chilling out at the hotel we decided to try and watch the movie on Netflix Instant View. Unfortunately our internet connection wasn't fast enough and it kept stopping and starting which was frustrating. I have a copy of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind buried somewhere and what is really crazy is that F loaned me a copy too. I remember the first time that I watched the movie I thought about him and how much I wanted to have the re-meet without the baggage.

Funny that it happened in a way. I certainly remember our relationship before but it is so much better now. So much better and honestly I will cherish this every moment because I am lucky to have this wonderful guy in my life.

At this work thing there were a couple of funny situations and he handled it like a pro.

I love that this is one of his favorite movies because it always was one of mine. I am glad that I haven't seen it with him ever actually. But the fact that we tried says everything.

so ... first things first...

Freak Train... finally went (after years and years of wanting to and never going) and am so glad that I did I am glad that I have friends that would.  The cold and frigid weather might have kept some people away but since I committed myself internally to going, first of the year, first show of the year, first time for everything... had to. 

We went to Patsy's across the street for dinner, before hand which was really nice.  Except I nearly collapsed because I was overcome with nausea for some reason, I think I was just jammed too close to the wall for comfort and felt really boxed in, but felt immediately better when I stood up and got out of the booth, so I am sure that is what the is.  It was no one's fault but my own for getting in first and but wow, I thought I was going to pass out.  But I got to see the stick figure gondola magic and that was totally worth it. 

The nights line up included an interpretive dance with sausage, a belly dance, some jokes, some magic, some songs, a bed time story about a duck, the time warp,  some poetry and good friends.  F gave me his door prize ticket and we won tickets to a show on Saturday night... we are winners!  And for the record, I don't think I will be able to look at the juice in canned corn the same for a while... thank you F. 

On the drive home I got a little turned around in the neighborhood and ended up sorta but not really driving around aimlessly for about 15 minutes. I knew where I needed to go, but it was so quiet and absolutely gorgeous out (albiet a little cold).  It was starting to snow a little bit and actually was really peaceful.  Ended up taking some pictures at a Catholic Church that was so amazing I nearly passed out again (well not really but I when I drove by my breath was taken away for a minute and I had to stop right there in the middle of the street and take pictures) You can see them on flickr later tonite or tomorrow.  Probably tomorrow.

Barely got out of bed this morning, it was way too comfy cozy to get up but I had to, I had some I.T. worker bee coming over to work on our Director's computer and stuff so I had to be here.  Go me the little worker bee too.  And Yay for being a worker bee for sure.  Grateful beyond all belief that I can since I know people who unfortunately are unable to say the same right now. 

Tonite is the last jammer mcjammie at the Meadowlark the way it has been, it is still happening on-going on Tuesdays but with a different host, not Dave K so I am planning to go down there after later tonite so bid adieu.  I am looking forward to a chill evening of improvisational jam.  I do love watching F play.  Have to boldly go there and put it out there in the world.  It is so true.

I am very much looking forward to G-love moving back to D-Town soon.  I am seriously planning a big soiree' of Welcome Back at Casa Bonita.   The last time we went we seriously had so much fun, now with some of the peeps I know now ... so much funner and insane, because... we didn't drink the last time but will this time for sure.  And go on a Friday night when it is batshit birthday party central.  That is all I am sayin.

Stayed clear of the crack today (facebook for those of you in the know) and am super proud. I am only allowing myself like 1 hour which is enough to accept my requests and the like and catch up on the status updates of my peeps.  I have to do better with my time for sure.

I want cake for the record but don't have any.  Fail.

Movie-rama for the day...

Woke up and discussed our favorite movies... you know top 10 stuff... I really couldn't come up with ones that were my favorites but know that meant that I had to watch some movies today to determine if in fact any would be my favorite...

The Savages
The Puffy Chair
The Hawk is Dying
The Tunnel Dwellers of New York
Le Cirque: A table in Heaven

not a movie but watched none the less

The first three episodes of Damages from this season so far
some Robot Chicken
CSI from last week


Not really any of my favorites but certainly really good in their own ways.  This is why I can't pick favorites. 

I am planning on doing a little baking tonite I think, F wants cupcakes, I am ok with that and I can take the extras to Freak Train tomorrow night.  I also want to make some cheese straws and something for lunches for the week. 

I also have to call my Oprah.

So apparently the week has ended well for everyone, but was tough all the way around for most of the people that I spoke with last night.  I am glad so very glad that its turned the corner for so many of the people I spoke with.  This is good. 

Went out last night to the Hi-Dive and then over to 3 Kings with F.  We had fun.  I have to say the Denver music scene is so amazing right now.  Our musicians are scorchingly full of talent it is crazy.  I am blown away by it sometimes.  Last night was no exception.  I really enjoyed myself.

Came home and talked a little philosophy and went to sleep. 

This morning woke up later even than later is for us and then went to Lucilles for breakfast (and look they sell a biscuit mix now... holy all that is good batman... I do have an extra from this morning, but I gladly will buy the mix the next time we are there. Breakfast was so good.  I don't know what it is but their grits are better than any others that I have had in so long. Ran into some friends there.  It is an amazing thing going on in my life right now, and I am grateful beyond all measure.  I wish I knew more about Southern style cooking.  I am learning though... I have Cheese Straws down, but would love to expand.  I am getting to it.

Tonite we are going to Stand by Your Band at the Hi-Dive which is a mash up of the local bands playing covers and originals and is so much fun, at least the last time I went it was fun.  I look forward to getting my ya yas out, taking some pictures, having some big fun and making some points along the way.  I did a good job I think last night but know tonite is the clincher for me.  Valentine... it is time.  NO hesitation, NO belaboring it, NO bullshit.

I have to go and get dressed for a birthday party and I don't have a clue what I am going to wear...gack.  Ok off for the evening... happy weekend ya'll

sometimes magic is just MAGIC

Ok so I fell madly in love with Rob's Mom's cheese straws. Established. Made some of my own. Established. Freaked out that the die in the cookie press matched Rob's Moms. Yeah blah blah blah Zoe, why you walking me down this road of we already know?

Well remember I said that using my Grandma D's cookie press waxed me a little nostalgic and happy that I can have this new tradition going with this and how thrilled I was to be using it? Yeah well, I just went to put everything back in the box and there was this piece of paper on the bottom. There was a recipe in my Grandma D's handwriting but it was my Grandfather's first wife's (who I knew) recipe because in HER handwriting there was an additional note at the bottom. I shed a tear or 10.

This is such an amazing treasure I can't get over it. Now I have to make the cookies tomorrow I think. So totally freakie. But so amazingly neat I am kvellin'.

Ok I am outta here for the evening... I have some bitness to take care of and some magic to make happen, I need to spread this around. I just couldn't let this moment go undocumented on the cloud and put the coolest thing this evening for me out there in the world so hopefully you can be touched by a little something magical and special yourselves tonite!

I was given a writing assignment this morning to write an "article/blog post" of 1200 words on cute boys with beards. I actually did it, and it was pretty good, but I am not posting it because seriously I can sum the whole thing up in five words:

My Boy F is dope.

That is all.

I am actually rather enjoying today's Christmas holiday and hope dear reader you are, and a quick aside... Happy Birthday to my SiL who is in Vancouever and hopefully skiing her tuches off.

I have the radio on: Denver's Independent 101.5. Now I link to it not because I am a media whore, but because seriously this station kicks ass. I have like two people in Denver that read it but they stream babies, click on the listen now button and hear what I am talking about. So awesome, and they are really trying to do something great with the station that hasn't been done before locally in Denver and I want them to succeed, so tune in please. Email them and tell them Zoe sent ya (don't, I am just kidding). I mean Love and Rockets right now? Holla so great. So very great. Thanks Whip for programming a great station and having two really kick ass ladies on air, that alone is worth mentioning. They are the only female personalities on the air that are not just going through the motions, you can tell. Lynne... adorable (and in person too, say hi to her if you see her out and about) and Stefani seems to dig what she is doing. Its a pleasure to listen to. I wish you a merry christmas full of media success and sales joy. Ok so I am a media whore. What can I say?

Anyways. Went to Heebonism last night. Uh, my five year break or whatever was justified. Sure it was ok and fun-ish, but I did not know any of these people and honestly would have danced a little bit but didn't happen so ce'la vie. I didn't like the bartenders very much, I had to wave cash at one of them to step away from her cellphone while she was texting someone. Hi, I want to actually buy a drink can I interest you in helping me? I appreciate that the guys who ran the show did a great job and honestly it was funner than most jew-ey events on Christmas eve that I have gone to in the past so thanks E3, but your door chick was a bitch. Sorry. Just because I am not 22 years old I am trying to be nice but seriously the attitude was not necessary. I know I am older than the average person here but let us in, I paid. Then she made a comment about my trader joes bag, which I brought the canned food in. So I gave it to her and she tossed it aside like it was trash. I almost asked for it back, but had better things to do than be a bitch back, I was there to have fun! But I hope your food drive worked out well E3. Donate to your local food pantries people. Not a lecture but a point out to the obvious some people really need the assistance. So help out why don't you?

Tuesday I made dinner for Chanukah, I completely over cooked the brisket but I learned the thing with brisket is, even if you can't slice it on the grain, you can slice it in chunks and still delicious, then shred the rest for bbq sandwhiches for lunch on Challah rolls for Christmas lunch. The one thing that was frustrating was my kitchen sink drain clogged as I was cooking. Of course it did. I had dinner for someone other than myself on deck. I didn't get frustrated but plunged the sucker at least until it drained enough but it isn't just clearing quickly. So frustrating and well actually gross. Something is caught up in there and I can't deal with it with a plunger alone apparantely. So since the pipes are in the wall, they are a common element so I will have to call the HOA Management company and they will call a plumber out to snake it. I am not supposed to call they do and then pay if it is in fact a problem outside the wall of my condo (one of the joys of condo ownership for sure), so I will wait until Friday and call. It drains really slowly now but still it needs to be fixed to drain normally. A minor hickup. I just have to be patient when using the sink for the next 24 hours. No biggie.

From dinner we went to the Bluebird to see The Swayback (!) (I say Swayback with an emphasis so must do the same thing when typing it out). Had a great time, met some fun fun folks. Talked radio with some radio people (oh radio promotions how I miss the hell out of you. I wish I could volunteer to do it... I might actually call and see if I can a couple times a month, but fear the "hey who is that old chick with the promo schwag... oh that's Zoe she thinks she is still in the Denver Radio Mafia, but that died when Clear Channel came to town, she is just reliving the past, leave her alone, let her pretend...."). But the best part of the whole evening was some chatter that I overheard. Mmmmm chatter. So damn you Wellbutrin.

Came home and chilled and watched High Anxiety.

I did have to go into the office but there was no set time, on Wednesday so slept in. I think because my mind was finally clear of all the garbagio misery I just opened up and enjoyed it. I didn't feel guilty about my choice to sleep in, have a nice morning and didn't stress about it at all. I think F appreciated it too.

Did absolutely nothing at work at all of any consequence. I wouldn't have gone in but checked my voice mail before I went in and there were a couple of things that I couldn't handle without my computer at the office so decided worthwhile going in. Monday my new department Manager starts so I might go in for a little bit tomorrow and clean up his office and get things set for him, even though technically he won't be in the building until Wednesday. I do have to call the caterer and arrange for a welcome breakfast next week which I totally spaced until just now. Dang. Better look up menus and stuff now and get that all organized so that I can call and jam on that on Friday. That I can actually do from home.

OH and F gave me the A John Waters Christmas Album yesterday which I am about to put in and give a spin too. I will think of you while I am roasting a couple marshmallows, watching the yule log on cable and getting ready for the 3rd Annual Fuck Christmas Party tonite at the 3 Kings. Maybe if you are in town you could come down too!

Wellbutrin... I hate you and you can suck it.

I loves me my Jonathan Adler... this is not new territory here on this blog. I am tempted to make a JA tag, just to see how much I mention him.  But last night when I opened Hanukkah presents from my Brother and his wife, I nearly peed my pants.  Not only was it from my third favorite place in the general Phoenix area (haus) but something distinctly Jonathan Adler that I didn't even know existed.  I have decided that I need to rearrange my dressers now to accommodate its fantasticalness in my bedroom.  Seriously.  So freaking cool. Or maybe in the bathroom.  Better.  Magic.  Anyways.  So exciting.

And my parents... totally amazing, they are gift giving geniuses. I was so crabby and miserable (damn to Wellbutrin... you suck and I am not taking you anymore), it was just torture to give them the giftcard printout laziness that I printed.  This Wellbutrin sucked the life out of me and my gift giving energy this year.  I thought it was just a general malaise about the economy but really it is the fact that again, in my quest to quit smoking and put off my seasonal effective disorder annual freakout, I made things worse.

So I have been off the meds for 24 hours which cold turkey is not the way to go, but holy shit I feel better. It might be pyschological but holy crap, happy today.  For the first time, genuinely happy, in like three weeks.  The next time I think about Wellbutrin someone take the pill bottle away from me like I am on some Judy Garland / Liza Minelli freakout wannabe pill popping show-o-rama because seriously... that shit sucked.  Auntie Pickles is a little better and that is what matters. 

When I was downtown a couple of times for the DNC this August, there was talk around and about discussing the Code Pink contingency.  Mostly in my circles because they were passing out condoms that were supposedly pink and branded with their "make out not war" jargon.  Fun right?  So I didn't give it much thought, I didn't get any condoms from the Code Pink group, got a couple pictures of a group of ladies that were coming from the Convention Center when I was on my way to the Buell the night F so awesomely got me into the ETown taping. 

So I am cleaning yesterday afternoon, it really helped me in about 100 million ways by the way after I got home from my parents....and accomplished far more than I intended.  Anyways... so I find this sticker that I was handed.  I go to their site today... lo these months later and I have to say, kinda impressed with some of their action items.  I really honestly thought that they only mobilized to get involved around the conventions but really they are quite the PAC. 

See? Looking at political stuff, looking to cooking some good food this week, actually finishing holiday cards (yep I am sooooo going to do it!!!), maybe even hitting a couple of stores?  Gosh it is really good to be back.  Holla.  I am been going through the motions of happy and largely faking it outside of a couple of conversations with Valentine and G so girls... I am back.

I have partitioned part of my weekends of late dedicated to watching movies. I am finding that for the most part television has gotten stale and predictable. So I reach to the remote and search movies.

Today's movies include:

September Tapes

Celebrity

I Love Your Work

and

Grosse Point Blank

Not as ambitious as a few weekends ago, but still interesting.

Its about being bahumbugtastic.... move along already...

I wrapped presents tonite and forced myself to get into the spirit of the holidays a little bit. Soooo not feeling it this year. Sorry about that for those who I am giving gifts to, but one, they probably will be considered semi-craptastic and two, you will be lucky if I put them in some sort of decorative container. Seriously. Last year I got all Martha Stewart on everyone's asses, handmade bows, fancy expensive imported ribbon from England, paper individually picked for the likes and dislikes of the giftee. This year? Not so much if at all.There was one year when I made fudge for every single person on my livejournal friends list, made a personalized card and packaged nicely and everything. Not this year.  I made fudge but only three batches (I have the fixin's for a fourth but it probably ain't happening) and will give some to the neighbors, some people at work, maybe F and his colleges and that will take care of it. 

I haven't even sent out holiday cards. I bought them a month ago when I was feeling it, but guh... it has been torture to even consider.

Maybe it is the shitty economy news that barrages us at every turn.

Perhaps it is getting a notice from my credit card company that just got a 400 million dollar bail out, oh sorry let me correct myself... $306 million, that in order to become solvent they have to raise the interest rate to nearly 30% a month (seriously suck it Citibank... that is why I will NEVER carry a balance with you - or any credit card company actually for that matter, 30%? That is gross).

Perhaps its just I feel like the pressure to produce is too much.

Shit I dunno. All I know... I am just looking forward to a couple of days off from work in the next couple of weeks.

I did make a couple of really good financial decisions today.  Nothing that will drastically change anything outside of where I save my money too, but certainly I am not contributing to a loss leader mutual fund for my IRA anymore. When you only make less than 600 bucks for a full year, those returns are shitty and time to make a little changeroonie.  I can certainly feel good that I made at least one good decision today. And yes I know that plenty of people lost big money but still, I have to only be concerned right now with me and my financial future and what is best for Little Miss Zoeshine ok. 

Marinated in some mishegas until S pulled me out and gave me the better of the kool-aids to drink.  I am not 100% but certainly I am far less pissie than I was at say 11 this morning when I had to force myself to smile and be jovial through a really nice office lunch.  My office girls really are the best.  I loves me my j.o.b. and my j.o.b. peeps. 

Came home, got a call from MS who also gave me some sage ass wisdom (as he always does).  And what was really the craziest of things... last night I was laying in bed, thinking about him, his hot sister (that is not a joke but totally an inside joke) and almost called him.  But he called me today. So nice to have him in my ear after all this time, its been a month or two I think?  Whatevs, nice to talk with him.  Nice to know he knows just the right times to call me and reach out to me and talk me off ledges of marination.

I haven't taken a single picture in a week.  Not a one.  This might be part of the problem too, I haven't been creative for even an instant all week.  Can't even force myself to do that either.  Largely uninspired by being forced inside because of the cold and dark, which I also do not enjoy all that much.  Its just miserable on my constitution apparently.  Makes me crabby or something.  That is a joke because by January I am usually so full of the suck due to seasonal affective disorder I am literally coming home from work and crawling straight into bed.  I have hidden it from the outside world pretty well for years but not doing such a good job this year, or the last week actually.  I am going to blame this all on the weather.  Time to break out the happy pills.  I have them, I should use them, diligently baby.  At least to get me through the next two months, when they make me numb and I can get off them.

I don't want to be "one of those" prescription babies, but this is kicking my ass.  Time to get aboard the seratonin train baby.  So I am totally manic for a week or so at least it will be during the holidays so I will be big fun.  Which is totally better than I am RIGHT F'N now let me tell ya.

Time to finish office present wrapping.  wee.

So this time of year so many media outlets blast their readers with end of year lists, I read them with great interest to see if they match my tastes.  Its amazing to see people wrap up a year in 10 or less lines or blurbs.  Is that not the most interesting thing? To wrap up a full year in 10 items or less?  Its like the express lane of events and I don't know seriously if I can wrap one year up in 10 lines or less.  So much has happened, I have seen and experienced so much its hard to imagine putting it down all compressed like others seem to find so easily to do.

But... because I am not one to ever miss any opportunities to try something new here goes and in NO specific order.  I am limiting myself to 12 items one for each month, the highlights and maybe lowlights!

January 2008: my favorite post of the month, the WGA was striking and tv sucked so I watched alot of movies. I enjoyed the concept of finding old friends on MySpace (not really).  I also got poked.

February 2008: I paid off my car, and my favorite post of the month, Valentine made me laugh about potatoes. I found an episode of The Simpsons which was great. and it snowed.

March 2008: My favorite post of the month (the video edition!). I got to meet (sorta) Mick Jones (at least get my picture taken with him).  Toured some hotels.

April  2008: My favorite post of the month. Went manual. Bought a good camera.  Caught up with old friends.  Got over my "car thing".  Went to Loveland.

May 2008: My favorite post of the month. Made inappropriate comments about Elliot Spitzer and Levitra with my Dad.  Obcessed about Tom Waits tickets. I baked pecan pies.

June 2008:  My favorite post of the month. The Fluid reunited.  Started to edit video again. Traveled for pleasure and it was.  Had a great lunch with my bro at Il Postino.  Saw Tom Waits and loved every minute.

July 2008: My favorite post of the month. Bonus Video. Had a birthday.  Almost fainted. Traveled for pleasure and work.  Had mind erasers the "zoe way". Found graffiti nice.

August 2008: My favorite post of the month. Remembered how much Roscos rules.  Had a great time at shows. Got to go to some cool Democratic National Convention events. Found the Diane Arbus' at our DAM.

September 2008: My favorite post of the month. Hiked Red Rocks.  Ate at Frasca. Enjoyed shopping.  Loved Nick Cave.

October 2008: My favorite post of the month.  Had some fun at shows.  Got a really bad cold.  Enjoyed mirrors.

November 2008: My favorite post of the month. Made it past the day.  Voted. Didn't enjoy the  DIFF as much this year. Watched Democracy in action.

December 2008: My favorite post of the month.  Didn't feel the joy of the holiday season.  Made myself proud for being strong.  Played with my new camera.  Saw some great shows.


So there it is.

Got my haircut and was talked out of getting it all cut off, not long enough to donate yet even though I really wanted to. Glad I didn't do it now.  Thanks Stacy for talking me down.

With the windchill factored in to tonite's weather... 36 below zero. That is mightily cold. And I have been out and about in this tonite. But its 10:15 and I am home, cozy in the house. I have moved the plants away from their original location near the patio doors, it is just freakin' cold and they shouldn't suffer either. It is going to be VERY difficult to get up and motivated tomorrow morning I can already tell. But I will be honest, I have my coffee ready for tomorrow morning.

I have a couple things going on this week which is good to keep me motivated.

Had a funny conversation about WalMart Friday night. I am going to say this one thing... I thought it was just me, but I am so very glad that it isn't. Phew. Speaking of Friday night, had a great time the whole evening. Was privy to a really nice conversation and liked having the Denver Local Music Scene Braintrust Overlords in my car, that was great. Later, the Red Bull and Vodka liquid courage ALMOST got me in trouble and I am glad Andrew pulled me outside to calm me the fuck down because Zoe was about to go a little silly and inappropirate, and yes, the cigarette helped. Thank you Andrew, Zoe has learned her lesson. Thank you F for not ridiculing me and beating me home as well. I do think that my interested is piqued... I might have to go to American Apparel as well by the way.

Had a really pretty nice weekend. Didn't bake like I wanted to today but I think that since I don't have much on deck I have to get into holiday gear. I am really truely just NOT feeling it at all. Not in a bah humbug kind of way, just not in a wooo hoooo big time holiday feeling. Seriously. Just not feeling it this year. And talking to J he wasn't either so again... phew... glad I am not the only one.

Ok this is a pretty sucky entry. I know this. So its done. Sorry you wasted the few minutes perusing... more when I am feelin' it.

I am tired today. For no other reason than I am. I haven't done anything of any consideration outside of working last night. But I will say that I am happy that I finished up my work last night because this Monday when I go into the office I won't be stressing at all. I think I have only had one and a half cups of coffee at this point in the day which mid-afternoon is really strange for me. This probably explains alot.

I planned to run a couple errands this afternoon but really it ended up just a while ago as a run to Goodwill (glad I got the call beforehand) and took the bags of clothes and stuff for donation. There was this guy unloading his car who was being a little mean to the helper guy because he didn't just have receipts handy. It was sad to me. Give the guy a break dude.

I am watching Iron Chef now and am completely disgusted by the concept of gooey duck. This is probably something that I wouldn't search out to eat. I am enjoying watching the last minute scramble of the plating. That is always my favorite part of the show, watching the chefs plate.

It makes me hungry though and I am trying to figure out what I am going to do for dinner. I might go and hit The Counter. Mr. Sheehan didn't like Five Guys (even though for the size of the burger it is about a third less, much closer to my house and from my experience really good and cooked perfectly (sorry my burger wasn't burnt Mr. Sheehan, but we did go on a Saturday where it was PACKED and maybe the burgers spent less time on the flattop than yours) but makes The Counter sound like the second coming of Round the Corner. I don't so much care about the alcohol factor, but humane raised cows, ok I won't feel AS GUILTY. Can you tell I am craving some protein? But after looking at the menu, I realize I have all the ingredients to make burgers here. The only thing that is missing is french fries or potatoes of any kind here.

Um weirdness....George Duran is now hosting Secret Life of..., which is pretty cool. I love Ham on the Street though. I got a really great recipe for Rice Crispey treats with coffee from him. OH MA GAW that is totally what I am going to go and make RIGHT NOW. Seriously.

Signing off to go and bake...thank you FoodTv for getting me off the couch!

Things are good...

So the gift giving season is officially upon me.  Yesterday I was completely freaking out because I totally thought Chanukah was on the 12th this year.   Then when the holiday didn't show up on my Google Calendar I was really whiggin'. But I am a goofball... Oops totally looking at 2009's calendar. So PHEW, I didn't totally under estimate how much time I had to shop, but now I am actually totally on schedule, I am actually far more ahead of the game than I usually am.  I have only one more, no wait, three more stops to make. 

I have a couple more gift cards to get, one stop at the mall and one other stop (look at me being all vague, but I don't really know who reads this and can't give my secret shopping joy away).  So I am totally way ahead of my game. 

Went to dinner last night at the original Pasquini's on Broadway.  It was so delicious and I have to admit the pizzetta was delicious this morning for breakfast even though I wanted it for lunch, breakfast was so much better.  I thank you F for treating me. I haven't been back at that location because it was the first place I went after WH died and I think I always associated it with that really bummer of a memory.  But you (F) made me remember Wilco and then I realized I need to break out those files and listen again because they are really good and I know that.  Then just as I sent him the links for the Colbert Report appearance he was watching it.  Funny. 

Oh and I shopped off list at Target last night and only forgot one thing. My dishwasher is not functioning (meaning the latch won't close, it isnt' worth spending 185 dollars to pay someone to come and fix it when I can get something that uses less water, makes less noise and is more energy efficient if I save for a couple of months and buy a new one).  So a 9 dollar dish rack isn't a bad investment but certainly not something that I absolutely need and I think that is why I didn't remember it, but it is on the list.  Pleanty of people survive with out a dishwasher, I can too for a little while.  F reminds me he survived with one bowl for years.  UM that totally freaks me out, but I can live without a dishwasher. 

I got some great work to do at the office today too.  I feel like I am making myself known for quality and dependability and that is what I want.  After so many years of feeling invisible and scared that I wasn't valued at the other places I worked (The Island and The Firm... for those of you following along all these years), I feel better finally about my job.  I actually very much like going to work and know how completely lucky I am that I am able to say that I am going to work daily.  This is a great company and really a pretty great group of people.  Lucky Lucky Lucky. 

I have turned on the fireplace because it is friskily cold outside.  It is really comforting.  And so is the result I just got from my Magic 8 ball.