Friday, November 09, 2012

So it's been a while huh?

It's not that I haven't had much to say ... just haven't really had the appropriate way to put it into words.  I have had a lot of changes in the last 9 months.  

My beloved Herschel passed away and surprisingly to me I have really had a very hard time dealing with it.  I know that how he passed had to happen.  He was so sick but didn't show it except when he would have a seizure, and they seemed under control  I have felt incredible guilt about the last seizure that happened because I was cleaning his ears and believe that it might have triggered the situation. I have been thinking "what if" for the last nine months.  Honestly.  

This little guy was so dear to me that only yesterday did I realize how fucking awful it has been coming home to an empty house all this time.  It's been tremendously hard for me to just "get over" like someone said to me the other day. Don't get me wrong, I am not mopey and sad nor am I really depressed over it... I am just really lonely for the little guy. 

So maybe this weekend I will have the cajones to go over to the Denver Dumb Friends League and find someone else who is ready to be treated like a little puppy king and rule the roost.  I am ready... I think F is ready.  So that is moving forward.

I also am fortunate enough to have started a new job.  To say that the last 9 months of my professional career have been a challenge would be an understatement.  I think I have found "home" as they say and believe honestly that while there were some major challenges for me over the past year, this new job is going to be full of great and I mean great opportunities.  I was treated like absolute shit where I was before and honestly don't miss it for a minute.  If there is anything to be grateful for is that I was able to leave without a single regret.  Not one.  I didn't think... "oh if I stick it out I will be ok"... "oh the market it bad, I should just deal with it", nope I don't regret the move one iota. I am better for it.  

I will finally be able to get back to being "me" here shortly.  I have been so guarded about everything, from my feelings to my personal life to my professional life I haven't shared anything. I have mailed anything, I have not made anything. I haven't photographed anything (of any real consequence) and I am ready to get back to it y'all.

With the holidays and my healthy enthusiasm with Pinterest I anticipate spending time in the kitchen this holiday season.  I might have to start blogging the finds and results here... all I know is that I am ready to start "living" again... ready to start being happy again.  

So I suppose I should say... welcome back to you dear reader... glad you will be on this new adventure with me...thanks for hanging in there.

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