Monday, February 28, 2011

Blogging the Oscars seems like the "in" thing to do...Lets see if I can do the whole 3 1/2 hours. 

The intro montage was really really funny. 

Watching Helena Bonaham Carter lean into Tim Burton when Alice in Wonderland won for Cinematography was really so very sweet. 

So I am going to say Kirk Douglas is pretty damn funny and honest, Anne Hathaway is something really nice to look at.

Ethan Cohen looks like Tim Burton. 

I like that Kirk Douglas drug the award out.  I want to give him an award. And seriously how gorgeous is Melissa Leo.  And that fantastic woman just dropped the F Bomb.  Holla. Her portion about the Academy  is tear inducing for me. 

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake look kinda of pissie.  And their banter is bad considering who they are. And don't say Shrek is going to be there if he doesn't show... the kids are going to be sad.   But I really do think someone should actually run a festival with the Shorts in Animation here in Denver. Why don't they do that?  Cough Cough Denver Film Society. 

Ok Animated Feature.  It will go to Toy Story so I am fast forwarding.  The Illusionist was so amazing but not available in three d so it won't win... too old school.  Why doesn't Pixar come up with something besides Toy Story.  Look I was right. 

Oh Steve Jobs was part of Pixar and their initial funding?  Huh.  Nice to see he does something with that apple dough besides hanging out with Kathy Griffin (who I would kill to hang out with by the way... that isn't a dig). 

Commercials.  Oh wait I don't have to watch this.  And here we are back from the commercials.  Hi Penelope Cruz looking all dear at your husband Javier Bardam.  Eeek. These white tuxes don't translate well to tv. 

Adapted screenplay... 127 hours will win.  I mean the guy cut off his arm.  (ooops spoiler alert).  Winter's Bone was a book?  Might have to read that since it will be months before it comes up on my netflix cue.  Whooooooaaaaa.... I was wrong.  Aaron Sorkin is amazing, he is really so brilliant I have to admit, I lived for the West Wing and he is really very talented.  Did you that he trained to be a Broadway actor?  He did.  Just a little trivia for you.  Man those white tuxes are bad.  Best Screenplay... I haven't seen any of these movies...I like when they superimpose the script up under the action.  And they show edits and notes... very cool graphics kids.  Kings Speech makes sense.  That was supposed to be a play by they way.  And Seidler is funny.  He seems like a nice man, I am glad he won and he used to stammer... I was rooting for him.  Screenwriting sucks by the way. 

Commercials.  I am taking a little drinkie break... Just homemade cream soda....

Hi Anne Hathaway, you look all fancy in that tux.  And your shoes are kick ass.  Oh you said jack ass.  But your shoes are amazing.  James Franco is wearing heels by the way.  This is really creepy that he is wearing a dress.  And not so much Marilyn as much as Scarilyn. 

Oh because of Arthur.  That is the only reason why Russel Brand should be on that stage.  Helen Mirren speaks better french that Russel Brand speaks English.  I know low but I don't get him at all.  But Arthur.  My heat just kicked on.  Thought that would be more interesting to you that my saying I liked the dress color on the winner from Denmark.

Reese Witherspoon is classic.  Her stylist gets an A.  Best Supporting actor.... I bet Christian Bale wins.  I haven't seen the Fighter yet.  But I heard that Christian Bale is unbelievably good.   But Mr. Rush.  Sorry.  Christian Bale just said Bloddy Hell... you would think they would have bleeped that out... huh.  I think Mr. Bale is terrific. We watched American Psycho recently and he just killed it.  Get it? Oh he looks brilliantly sharp in his tux.  His wife is pretty.

If Trent Reznor wins for score I will pee my pants. He won't. But just saying.  Commercial.I hope James Franco isn't wearing a dress when we come back. 

And we are back.  Oh the president ... I will skip forward through this.  I will let you know that I was a seat filler.  That was fun. 

Anne's dress is better. And her hair is rad. 

God this is a lame ass intro to the Music Awards.  I do dig the dolby thx buzz.  I sat in a theater once while they tuned it for a new Dolby system. I heard that buzz for like three hours and each time... thrilling.  Lets move... Live performing the score is pretty cool though.  From hearing this, I am betting Inception wins.  It's pretty "scorey"  Whoa.... seriously.  I am totally shocked.  I am totally shocked.  Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross Academy Award winners. 

Why is Mathew McConahey there?  Presenting?  Huh.  Achievement in Mixing. I know what goes into this work, so it will be interesting to see which wins.  Inception.  Which I haven't seen but it makes sense from what it looks like.  Mixers are an awesome group of people.  These winners look cool and they thanked their crew which is killer.  Sound editing now.... Inception again. Now I want to see it.  Moved it up on my queue. 

I can't do this for another two hours. 

This blogging an awards show is hard. 

Look at those Scientific award winners! 

Cate Blanchett.... is so pretty.  Why are they still playing music over her?  She makes gross sound gorgeous. 

Costume design - Alice in Wonderland is absolutely right.  That was a creatively brilliant work.  Her speech was boring and her gloves are weird.  And you could see the tag on her dress as she turned around. 

Music montage with every day people singing?  Hey there is the President!  And Kevin Spacey.  He can sing actually.  Introducing Randy Newman.  He wins this I already knew.  I heard about it already.  Spoiling that for you.  His uncle was really so nice to me and he wasn't but he was recovering from being sick so I forgive him and congratulate him. Now I fast forward. 

Oh all the songs all at one time.  Huh.  I am still fast forwarding.  Wait only two songs.

Amy Adams is from Colorado.  Her hair is kinda meh.  Best Documentary Short Subject, this  is something anyone should and aspire to do, everyone has a story, go and make your film. You could get your project on HBO too.  One day I may actually get there.  Short Live Action.  God of Love.... that looks like a filmschool project... not that it's a bad thing.... yep NYU Tisch.  that screamed final project, just for the few sections I saw.  I am jealous as hell.  Our final project was shit.  And unwatchable now.

Oh Anne Hathaway's next dress is dangling.  And I love her hair. It's decided, I need to take a picture of the tv so that I can take this to Stacy and say... I want to grow my hair out to look like this.

REally? Autotune? This is lame. Fast Forwarding. 

Oprah.  Meh.  Documentary. Figures. I wonder if she actually saw these. Even Ethan Cohen is bored.  Thank you director of the show for showing that moment.  Exist Through the Gift Shop better win, because if we get to see banksy I would pee again.  Nope.  Bummer.  Banksy is always going to be a mystery now I suppose.  A documentary about the financial collapse?  Wow like I need to watch that?  Not academy award worthy I think.  But what do I know?  I just think showing and documenting what we all are living through still isn't award worthy? 

Billy Crystal... he's kinda creepy. Always has been to me.  I am fast forwarding through this, I don't really need to see the ode to Bob Hope.  Fake voice introducing Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law, that is awful. Jude Law... you are totally an asshole.  I don't care who scripted this but it's terrible.  Lets give Alice in Wonderland another win shall we?  Oh wait Inception will take it.  I typed take tit.  Hah.  I am bored.  Inception.  Makes sense. Glad I moved that to the top spot in my queue. Oops almost fast forwarded through the editing award, which I also totally "get".  Social Network was edited really well I agree. 

An hour and 20 left to go.  This is really really hard. 

Anne Hathaway ... red dress not so good. 

Two songs and I am skipping through.  PS Jennifer Hudson, your boobs look weird.  Florence and the Machine are weird and awfully orange. I am skipping through.  Gwynth in FFWD is a blush flesh colored blur. 

I told you who won, so lets move on shall we?

Commercial and showing of the in memoriam?  Seriously... gunna skip.  Oh Celine.... my heart will always go on but I can't watch you.... Wasn't she pregnant? Still fast forwarding....Why hello Halle Berry you look pretty but it's so cliche to have you talk about Lena Horne.  Oprah would have actually been better.  Should have booked that differently.  Boring. 

Anne is now in blue.  and it's shiney.  And her hair is awesome again.

Hillary Swank you still look like your ears are really big.  Kathryn Bigelow... your dress is kind of gross and you are totally underwhelming.  Directors... this is what I was waiting for. Tom Hooper.  This doesn't surprise me.  His press around the release of the film made him seem like such a super super nice nice man.  You need that in a great director. 

I have heartburn now.  Stupid awards show. 

Hi Annette Benning. You are hot.  That dress is killer. 
I wish they would air the Governor's Awards instead of this now.  That looked fun. 

Performance Awards. 

Natalie Portman - deserved for sure. Her speech was lovely.
Colin Firth - again, totally deserved and very much expected. And Colin was very funny and I am so glad they didn't orchestrate over him. 

We are in the home stretch... Man... one more award... phew.

Anne Hathaway's last dress.... slinky. 

Speilberg? Meh.   I am glad he didn't self congratulate.  Raging Bull never won?  Wow.  I learned something from Mr. Speilberg, never thought that would happen since his production company was mean to me I shut down against him.  So now I can get over that.

Best Picture..... Kings Speech.  The little movie that could.  I am excited to see it I have to say.  Haven't seen it yet, we couldn't get to it over the past couple of weekends and tried to see it this afternoon but it wasn't showing downtown when we were there.

Ok .... so.... that was that.  I won't live blog (via the dvr) again probably, that was hard and I pooped out.  BUT I am glad I comitted to this awards show and not the Independent Spirit Awards because all I would have done is call for drinks everytime someone kvetched about the cold... so this was much better. 

Dad?  I think they are singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow just for you. 

I really have to say the "ClassPicture" thing is really rad.  That was pretty special. 

Shout out to the writer Paula Pell. 

Just turned off my dvr and came across some on the Red Carpet coverage thing... and BAM! There is Denver's very own Mondo!  What a crazy cool thing to see. Mondo your glasses are bombdiggity!  Congrats on the National TV coverage!  You are terrific!

Sleep well y'all.


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