Tuesday, December 06, 2005


Dear Mr. Coke a Cola marketing yahoo....

Tab Energy Drink? Are you serious?

I swear... if you really are going to mess with my TaB I am going to freak right out. First it was Crystal TaB, clear TaB...wrong on so many levels. You realized your mistake and took it back.

We thanked you.

Then you took it off the shelves at the local stores. And now this? Mr. Coke Man... have some mercy. Please tell me that this is a secondary TaB situation (like what will be considered a poor market decsion with Mango Fresca... I am just saying... you aren't going to compete with Fanta, sorry, the latino market is verrrrry brand loyal) and that I am not going to have to go into my local King Soopers and buy out all the TaB again? I have more than once showed my loyalty.

Remember way back in the days. "OK" flavor days? Remember little ole me? (ok and Ross too) driving that van all around Denver promoting your "Ok" soda? Remember me? The chick with the roll of dimes, buying out all the machines because you didn't stock TaB on the grocery shelves? Yeah. That was me. I am the one that would by a 12 pack worth of TaB EVERY DAY from your machines by the dock.

Remember when I called the Arizona Distribution plant to see about if they at least stock it there, so if you did I could have family overnight it to my house because you took it off the distribution here in Denver? Yeah...Hi...me again. Remember how happy I was that you came to your senses and started stocking the shelves of my local King Soopers and how I called the Denver plant and said thank you... yeah... me again.

I am proud to walk around wearing TaB tshirts...promoting your product. But you mess with me and I will stop it in protest. I swear I will.

Do NOT make me go all crazy on you again, Coca Cola. I have enough time on my hands right now to get all desperate and make this situation reallllly unpleasent for the both of us (meaning I will have more TaB in my house than one person could possibly ever actually drink, because it MUST be in my fridge at all times... all times...always). Expect a phone call. Don't make me call.

This girl grew up on the pretty pink can of joy and will not let it go down with out a fight.

Please please please tell me this is your answer to diet Rock Star or Red Bull and maybe I will be a little happier. And if it truely is... I promise I will never drink another Vodka and Red Bull again, it will only be TaB Energy (I will even get my favorite local bar to carry it... see? I am totally a team player), and I promise you if I do something really stupid (which I tend to do drinking those candy flavored adult beverages) I will name my first kid TaB(itha) or something like that.

That is some serious dedication, Mr. Cola Coke Marketing Guy. Just think about it. Leave my TaB alone... step away from the production line and make a secondary product. Thats all I am asking.

Your friend in caffiene, saccharin and hopefully a secondary energy drink,



valentine said...

TaBitha!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!!!!
too funny silly bunny!


Zoe said...

No girl... its TaB(itha).

That will totally make the teachers crazy trying to figure it out.