So I had this thought and call me crazy but and hear me out...

I was at this marketing meeting today... oh never mind. Its stupid. I know how I feel and that is just the way it goes.

In other news I have been eating deep fried pita chips with hummos all night in front of the tv. I want to ralph. Too deep fried and store bought (the only not so great purchase from Sunflower today). A nice little baking would have been better and I could have done that on my own with a little dash of paprika. Lesson learned. But I will continue to buy my hummos because seriously I can't make it as good as Sunflower Market can make for me to just bring home.

Everything I bought at the market tonite was completely flour ridden... this from the chick who in less than two weeks is going to have to give it all up for Passover. Its ok. I can do it. One bag of pretzels and a couple bags of tortilla chips can get me by.

I was at my local grocery store (not Sunflower...which I totally love by the way...) walking the Pesach aisle and I was completely overwhelmed by the sheer choice of matzah they brought in. It used to be Streits and that was it... now and I am not kidding there must be like 30 different choices. Wow. Give me the pink box (or two) and I am good for the week. Not the biggest fan of the matzah. I will bread eggplant with Matzah meal, eat salads, a steak one night, maybe even pesadeke noodles another, but not a big fan of the matzah. The novelty wears off by the end of the first seder.

I don't go over my house with a feather or anything I just refrain from leavened foods. I did though grow up in a house where my parents switched out the plates and we covered the dining room table with paper because it wasn't pesadeke. Now, its exactly the opposite. Same plates.

Emotionally right now I am just beat. Not in a oh whoa is me kind of thing, I just feel like I am rolling that rock up the hill just to have it roll right back down again. I am not sure that I have it in me to just keep rolling it back up. Its nothing really all that major just emotional girl stuff that is so really stupid (even to me) that I really don't even want to post about it, but it is there and something on my mind.

On a more less pessimistic and more creative note, I finally have the money to take my 35mm camera in to get fixed (the apature is stuck and doesn't function properly when I can get it to close and open, the exposure rate is just way off) or just buy a "new" used camera and set up some darkroom time at the gallery. I am no great photographer, but one of my favorite memories when I was a kid was going to my dad's darkroom over the meat packing plant (yes thats right) and developing pictures we took. I love the black and white medium so much, so very very much and with all the blooms starting to arrive signaling spring I want to try and capture some of it. I missed out last spring, which was so amazingly beautiful and really regretted it...this year I don't want to say the same.

I have some really old paper that is pretty distressed which will make for really interesting effects I think. Some of the paper was even exposed at one point on the edges so the black of the exposure won't be even.

Time to plan the work outfit for tommorrow.