Dear Top Design,

I wanted to take this moment to let you know that I am no longer going to be watching you.

I just finished Episode Four. The paint lid is going back on and being put away into storage. You are off my dvr list.

Harsh I know. But hear me out and I think you should know what made me turn the corner tonite.

I am not inspired nor impressed with your choice for a winner this week (talk about a room being unfinished and excuses being made by the same person over and over... the gal is a bitch and a complainer -or that is what we are shown- and I get you are crafting characters, but that room was icky). That room was undone. Storage or not what 20 year old GIRL (and that is who her client was) is going to want a road sign in her home? That is 18 year old college dorm BOY material. Shit. That wasn't even addressed. She bought a mid century chair and lamp and wins the challenge? Are you high? Whatever, I don't care, I am not watching you anymore.

Kelly's outfits. Seriously a flapper dress with crimped hair? She is supposed to be a "taste maker"? Instead of channeling Carrie Bradshaw, she should be channeling Charlette York-Goldenblatt. Playboy centerfold aside, her outfits and smirk slash glare are a colossal mistake. Perhaps having her look at a mirror would be helpful to her. Just a suggestion, but I don't care since I am never actually going to look at her on my tv ever again.

Is there any proof that any of these people are top anything? Supposedly there have a level of taste but come on... really? Not a single room looked complete (see here...thank you blogging top design for the pictures I am linking to...) on this episode. I have made plenty of great-ish decisions on small rooms (my house isn't big) without it looking like crap. Oh and nice sponsorship shot... I might have to go buy some pledge dusters... not. Why wouldn't you go with the cleaning company that has oh I don't know some real design aesthetic like Method? Maybe they will show up in later episodes, I don't know because I am not going to be watching for it.

The woman who is co-sponsoring your show, the Editor in Chief of Elle Decor basically (on camera at least) was completely blown off on her choice. She wanted "Mr. Black Room of Serious Crazy" to go home and he should have. The room was awful, he doesn't design he makes art, and has said so, he doesn't listen to clients, that ultimately are going to pay him, and he said interior design is full of crap basically. He should be told to go home. His room was awful (although the recovered office chair was delicious, I could do that and might have to since this directors chair is killing my back and tuches). I won't be waiting to see what he designs next week because you know... I won't be watching.

In today's day and age everyone has a computer and the only one that ever addressed the issue was Michael. Sure the blueberry mac didn't work with the space, but some design student isn't going to need a computer space? Puhleeze. PS I would shoot myself too if I had to enter any room with a dead animal carcass on the floor that was worse than the afghan. Bygones. I am done.

I am over Goil and his linear business. I am over no pocket square tonite. I am over the show. Put a fork in me... I am done. I have like 400 other shows to watch on tv and should I want to watch amateurs design spaces for clients that they don't really have any interest in actually making something nice for I will watch Trading Spaces and pray for a Hilda room.

Thanks for the four weeks though Top Design, I really gave it my all. I sat diligently and watched hoping for beauty and class and instead I got trash and trinkets and drek color choices. That woman's terrible fashion isn't even enough to make me watch you.

Good luck with your ratings and all that. But I am fin.


PS. You suck. Good Luck.