Really. Sometimes timing is everything. I was stuck in a very slow line yesterday at Target. I was standing there with my little red basket with some slight provisions for P, who wasn't able to get out of her house. There were only a couple lanes open and I wasn't in the one that was particularly moving quickly.
The woman behind me says: "I bet if you let me in front of you this line will move faster." I stood there for a second and didn't quite know how to respond, but eventually, like seconds later I said "why". And her responce was..."well I am prettier".
Ok now. Lets just wait one measly second here. You think because you are wearing lip liner and your hair is blond that you are going to get the gentleman behind the counter to hurry up checking people out? Really? Your being blonde and wearing makeup makes the world spin on its access just a little quicker? Wow. You are mighty powerful. You still aren't getting in line in front of me.
So I said to her, "I think the guy is just doing the best that he can". She said, "why would he hurry unless its for me". And believe me when I was standing there, completely flabbergasted, all I wanted to say is "honey if you have to have men hurry to help you and hurry to get you out of their way... that is so not the kind of man that I want... let him go slow and leave me with a smile" but I didn't. I didn't want to be that bitter bitchy chick who is defensive about going to the grocery store in a vintage Go Gos shirt with no makeup in the middle of the day, and being called ugly. I mean I have never felt like the prettiest girl in the room ever, but I can go to the grocery store without makeup on and feel alright about myself most of the time.
This woman really ticked me off. How dare she actually say that she is prettier than me. How DARE SHE. So for the next few seconds I stewed. So I said, "I think the line is moving". It wasn't. The guy behind the register thing was in fact moving very slowly, no getting around that. Sure it was frustrating. The "pretty girl" started tapping her shoe on the linoleum. I decided, pretty girls aren't impatient. Pretty girls aren't mean. And pretty girls definately have curves, can walk around the world without makeup on and most definately are not anything that this girl was behind me.
When I got to the checker, he apologized for things taking so long, that the lady he was helping insisted everything was on clearance but it wasn't ringing up properly. I said, "its fine, its just the way it goes sometimes right? No worries". As he is scanning my items I realized, I have to say something to this girl, I really honestly have to just say something. So I lean back and I say "you know miss.... excuse me miss... (she was reading US Weekly)" and she actually didn't respond. The checker said "do you want me to get her attention?" and I said, "No, she is having a pretty moment I guess".
It was a horrible few minutes. And then this morning I read Margaret Cho's blog. The world is full of pretty girls and conventionally the tide is definately turning.
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